Chocolate Sunset

Quieted Storms

2011-01-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

Riptides of shivering oneness
Encased within your warmth
Each wave heightened, lightened
Deeper under your restraint
This undeniable embrace
Hold my hands, my hips
Dear
Tighten my hair in your palm
God…
Please hold me within you
Under your strength I give no qualms
Hushed words melt my name
I arch with each murmur
Into you.
Seemingly open with such grace
Long since starved I pull you through
You give and take
So selfish
That your selflessness becomes
One with my greedy body
As I take and give
What I want
Waves are surrendered to
Breath is grasped
In mid-air
Words….
There is no language
Bare bodies are what I hear
Tangled we rest for moments
Quieted storms echo in my ears
While the thunder of
Your heartbeat
Keep wet showers always near
Until those waves rise on me
Slowly with you rolling over me
A soft stone
Under your hands
A solid stone though
You will be
There is no want or waiting
Patience….
Not tested in your hands
I would beg
If midstroke
You asked me
But God,
I’m thankful that you don’t.
Move me under
And over your aching
Fill me with that distant need
Release those wants and demons
Until I
Am all you see
Then when you move again
Finally…
From the pleasured tightened grasp
Revel in the sweetness made
In your embrace
Is what we have

--Diva

Tumbleweeds

2011-01-19T22:09:00.005-07:00

My morning coffee in this side café
Brings comfort, lost comfort
Not completely lost on me
Russian thistle blown along
Collected on fence lines
By strong winds song
So many thorns and dried up sage
We can only burn them
Out of the way
To make room for comfort
Room for new life
Room to grow on this lonely highway.
I ride the fences and prune
I mend these busted sections
For I cannot mend you
And none of these are rot proof.
Rusted nails and cracking wood
Weathered in time, aged for good
Worn colors of rainy grain
Worn cold and dry some love remains
But each day is picked up by the wind
Slivers briskly taken and spin
Etching gouges in my fence
Deep lines in my life, the slow resent
Tumbleweeds rolling past
Sharp and dry
I haven’t seen one since
My broken fences let you
Roll with them.

--Diva

So Close

2011-01-19T22:05:00.001-07:00

I wanted to be beautiful
I wanted to be loved
I wanted someone to smell my skin
And run their fingers through my hair.
I needed to be touched.
Inside, where no one had
Understood and admired
And held when I am sad.
I longed to see the view
From a pedestal of admiration.
And hear true whispers of lust.
I wanted to mean something
Enough worth fighting for.
Be important enough to keep safe.
Precious and sweet to another one.
My God, I came so close.

--Diva

STEEL RAILS

2010-11-30T19:57:00.001-07:00

Railroads, silver thunder scream through
Whistles blow through town & you
Our pasts a part ride in as one
Like we’ve rumbled through this country
Chasing moon and sun.

No I didn’t know I’d been waiting
At a bustling station for you to come
Though I long held a ticket
I simply stood on platforms
While each steamer raged past me
Screaming on.

I happened to be reminiscing
Watching, feeling iron steeds go by
In my absent memories – my dear
Familiar spirit stopped…enticed
And I stood to greet you
Inhale your skin, embraced by pride.

You had travelled for long years
As long as my weather ticket
Held in my hands
Halting many stations
Creating songs upon the land.
You knew me, remembered from long ago
That I had blank tendencies
To wait on platforms alone

So you satisfied the yearning
The miles put in you
The long forgotten memories
The rails of iron seared through
By a mere glance you recall
The wanting, lusting lost in me

I’m dizzy from long thunders
& random faces that swiftly passed
Lightened, sickened by polluted fumes
Swirling in stagnant air above my bench
I did not realize my fresh air
Had long been sucked
With winds blown west.

You blew my breath back into me
A silver bullet screeching to a halt
Long enough to scoop me up
Onto a familiar journey
On rails, sparked hot
We ramble on.

--Diva

Irrational

2010-11-09T22:55:00.004-07:00

You were never mine, though I dreamed
Through your goodbyes, the veils of change
Convinced me you were mine.
Like smoke you eluded me,
Mysterious, absent
Ever changing and fluid
Love is and isn’t.

Irrational, ever slow
My intentions creep to know
How you belonged
That I am alone
Slowly irrational

Deep breaths I inhale
To touch, to own such peril.
Love is and isn’t for sale.

Irrational, ever slow
My intentions creep to know
How you belonged
That I am alone
Slowly irrational

Like a fool I wait
Matches to strike
Creating sulphurous air
But it is and it isn’t hate.

Irrational, ever slow
My intentions creep to know
How you belonged
That I am alone
Slowly irrational

Are those tears each meant for me?
Don’t waste them dear
Love …. I’m not to keep.
You were never mine.

--Diva

My Solace

2010-09-27T12:11:00.001-06:00

YOUR SOLACE
I saw your broken heart today
Weary it was in your eyes
So lost I’ve never seen you look
And lost here I simply lie.
I want to be your solace
Your refuge from this pain
Not to fix or change you, but remain.
You’re love, your life, your way.
For what you need to mend
Thought not so complex I cannot provide
I have this soft touch to offer
A barrier through these cold nights.
I want to be your solace
Your refuge from this pain
Not to fix or change you, but remain.
You’re love, your life, your way.
I reach into your every worry. I savor each of your woes
With no judgment passed or grudge held
I urge you to let me go.
So that I can be your solace
We’ll have refuge from such pain
Together we have triumphed…we remain.
A love, a life, a way.

--Diva

Not In Death

2010-09-27T12:09:00.000-06:00

It is not in the death
I steep
But the care of the living,
those who need.
Each soul a heavy burden laid
Upon this earth.....light on the grave.
It is not peace upon one's face
when souls release that body's space

Just emptiness.
Void and still
No. No peace. Merely an empty shell.

No longer a worry or a care.
Their full vessel
empty shell
not here.

Quickly the heavy laden needs
Come from the gut of earthbound seeds.
Still sprouting, growing, speaking to life.
Needing and wanting their shells just right.

Can I not pass those outstretched arms?
Those palms turned up in sorrows song.
It is not to the grave they pull me to
Open
silent
mouths of death ensue.
The pulling, pushing
to the ground
are the souls kept here

I hear every sound.

Diva

By No Other Name

2010-09-08T00:28:00.003-06:00

Warmth lapping across my face
Not furnace hot, now August late
The cool water, my limbs encased
Breezes blowing the leaves and brush

I have no memory of this peace
No constant highway fills my mind
I cannot recall this mental ease
Quiet has not been a friend of mine

This day of Indian Summer skies
unfamiliar , relaxed, my body is
No hidden agendas, half truth or lies
Simplicity still remains a twist

Among my quickened pattered heart
Laid upon the bare shelf in my brain
Tucked away, gathering dusty art
Is bliss, by no other name.

--Diva

Old Time

2010-07-24T00:34:00.002-06:00

Looking through the back window
dads 46 Mercury
Summer sun and dandelions
dust clouds up my memories.

Faces stretch into years ago
Streaking across time like stars
Gravel spitting up in my life
pitt and scratch, dimpled scars.

Black and white fade away
I face the front head on
Shiny new and whimsical
life flies past me
that road is gone.

Open range, wind in my hair
the book is mine to write
windows clean and crystal clear
The rear view full of light.

-Diva

Fallen Snow

2010-05-28T20:38:00.003-06:00

I fell apart. Inside my soul.
I felt my heart. Falling in my storm
Each piece a flake, of fallen snow.
I lost my soul in cedared woods.
It died away {such brittled root}.
Drifted and fell in falling snow.
My soul has died. In ropes I sigh
They will not hold...Pieces of soulful snow.

-- Diva
(Best when read under the influence while listening to Opus 23)

Spring

2010-04-27T23:16:00.000-06:00

Spring breeze such as fresh linen
Skipping stones across my waters
As plateaus my years create
Spring breezes open country
My sandals key the gate.

--Diva

Walls

2010-04-27T23:10:00.000-06:00

Tell me how the world looks
from behind your bars
Are you safe within your hell
Without any cares
Do you sleep so peaceful
In the warmth of cinder walls
Valuing the silence

--Diva

Tired

2010-04-16T01:38:00.000-06:00

I have no words in me tonight
I'm sapped and drained
Not left a fight
my hours seem to blend in days
Existing in continuous haze
Tired....so tired today
So tired I have nothing to say.

-Diva

IF I COULD LOVE

2010-04-06T22:28:00.002-06:00

If I could be a seed of life
planted with love and sown with intent
Yearn for tenderness and stretch for light
air flowing through soil to my lifes begin
I would sprout true brilliant green
so small and fragile at first unseen
Then I would search for wind and rain
I would praise my makers dream
God the colors I will be - embarrassingly
No shame will become me
If a seed of life I could be.

--Diva

LIKE THE RAIN

2010-03-29T23:07:00.003-06:00

Her smile, simple gestures besot
Simple as a apple's red.
Temptress on ankles
beauty her lot

I lay await in bed

She comes to me
and like the rain
saturates me with lust again.

--Diva

8.28.97

2010-03-29T23:02:00.002-06:00

You have loved parts of me
Ones I never knew
I began to see those parts
in the same light
of which I adore you.

--Diva

NONE SHOULD LOVE

2010-03-29T23:01:00.000-06:00

No one should love me
I'll venom them away
To save me from their cruelty
That eventually they lay.

Then I won't have to live
Under hurt and pain
I can try to salvage
That which keeps me sane.

Eventually they tell me
I don't need you no more.
I could never love you
I don't want a whore

They leave me tired and bloody
Fom the battle in my heart
A void the size of oceans
keeping me apart.

With no guilt ~ the bitches
go and lead their merry life
God sent me down to earth
and mocks the normal wife.

--Diva

DIFFERENT PACKAGES

2010-03-29T22:53:00.000-06:00

You seem disgusted to look at me
From all those year past.

Did you not learn love comes
In many packages and wraps?

Not perfect I know,
But you chose me still

I will work on it today
So that you can view me beautiful.

--Diva

FOLDED HANDS

2010-03-29T22:50:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I can still feel
How you once loved me
I mourn and miss it
My heart empties.

I was not to be your one.
Or theirs, or his, or hers.
Still where I turn on this plane
The hand I hold's my own.

I chose not to begin again
I know my soul's alone.

--Diva

SELF TORTURE

2010-03-29T22:44:00.000-06:00

I am tortured
by mistakes and past
Always following
where I never intend to lead
I'm haunted by them.

I don't run.
I try to hide.
Shelter myself from the world.
Relive each memory
A self endowed sword.

--Diva

(From back in the day)

2010-03-29T22:40:00.000-06:00

You are irreplaceable
....as laughter
which you bring to me

and "you" are thee

You spread yourself
over my soul

I call it joy

to know you, to be yours
To feel the warmth

of a tear

Brought to life by a spirits kiss
and not hatred or fear

never shall I find another

So with me you must stay
For God knows I cannot live

without your bliss

Not one minute
not one day

--Diva

MY CUP

2010-03-10T10:37:00.001-07:00

I keep coming back for more

You intoxicate my blood

Struck by a deep and sharp

Sword, then dripping, lustfully

Filling my cup.

This unquenchable thirst

Will you feed, will you pour

Fill me sweet love

Draw me to heavens door

Where I knock and knock

With no answer but care

Not to allow a droplet

To fall from the air

I cannot waste your vialed gift

I will not share, none shall sup

From this gauntlet, this porcelain

Filled by you my precious cup

Flow and stream my hearts

Wounds leave me weak

Dizzy in rare intoxicating relief

My fall will not cease

My need will not leave

Open your faucet of passion

To me and my empty barrels

I have prepared, I need.

Resembling plucked flowers

Weeping sweet scent

This sword is pulled

Apart from my bone and my flesh

The pain is immense but worth every nerve

What I drink of your love

While I die in your curves

My head in your arms

My lips brought to the rim

Of insanity this fiery thirst

it will win.

Again I knock and wait for passage

For I no longer have

My wet and wise adage

It is all I can leave

On this empty plot

This earth will carry away

My used and void cup.

--Diva

IMPRESSIONABLE

2010-03-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

Impressionable and young
my tender girl.
So young and fragile
In this big world.
The oyster is herself
Building a string of pearls

Her joys, her pains
more than what she's felt
Rewards and peace
She has still to shell.

My protection has hidden
not fully disappated
for she has her own will
She's waited years, elated.

--Diva

BLUE LOVE

2010-03-06T00:12:00.001-07:00

Her love is the color blue
She seeps in oceans of crystal
Sapphires on the horizon
of her bleeding blue heart.
Her love is the deepest blue.

Her denim pockets hold her hands
with cold blue fingertips
that will trace the outline of my face
Her blue eyes of the sweetest sky
delving into my sad green.
Her love....true blue.

She says her love is the color blue
Sirens screaming into the darkest of nights
a navy pinstriped suit that fits her just right
in the blue lights of the corner neon
reflected in street signs.

Such a blue love ornamenting this world
a scarf of passionate love
wrapped through the galaxies
of powder blue infinite light
Her blue love is entirely right

Her love - blue bonnets
lining white fences
in town upon red white and blue flags
soaring in the wind.
She loves in shades of all blue.

She loves me with musical blues
Notes that serenade my blue heart
that love matches my blue tears
streaming love rivers down my face

Cobalt blue reflects her love
diamonds roughed like peppermints
cool ice steaming in sunlight rays
She will color me blue in this box
pretty boxes quilted never to fade away.

--Diva

VULNERABLE

2010-03-04T22:44:00.000-07:00

I trust you'll never
turn me away
unsatisfied , empty
wandering astray

My broken heart does
not come from you.
Not your words or rejection
You are only joyful pursuit

My belief, perhaps naive
Innocent, but true
is that you love
every morsel of me
and wish to savor me too.

Here I lie open and waiting
for you.
Please don't leave me
wanting, yearning
desperate.
Let chivalry be new.

You, YOU bring me peace
my soul can breathe
when I am loved by you.

So fucking pure
Do I dare return
this love you give
this sweet sincere.

Unselfish, complete
when you are in me
In my eyes, in my loins
Deep into the ghost you see.

Tenderly, savagely take me
drink in me
touch the core of my being.

I'l be yours, entirely
Suspended moments in time
No distraction from you
No distraction from me.

A complete pair, one love
Forever tied..tender strings
to touch and tie
around loves seed.

--Diva

CHERUB EXPRESSIONS

2010-03-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

If angels could see me now
How disappointed would they be
That the roads I choose
have led me astray
but simultaneously
created me.

Cherub frowns and eternal
brilliance dimmed
by my ignorance and grim
methods of love.

--Diva

PEACEFUL DAUGHTERS

2010-02-21T00:25:00.000-07:00

We've all asked our mothers
From where does the sadness come?
Regardless of her answers
We hesitently march on.

Our mothers cannot answer
Why there's broken hearts and hands
We have no fear in asking
Still we are blind to understand.

It seems we're constantly searching
For the inhale to sync our ex
We dream and believe in the existence
That our lashes close to view what's next.

Such hope is choking us daughters.
Far fetched dreams tangle in our minds.
We lose our focus and independence
Our souls fill with sick and crime.

Mere peace the world has begged for
I ask we start with one.
To have a moments silence
In my head....I will have won.

I will send my weapons forward
with my daughter, but no key.
And even if I offer or she asks
I cannot bring even her some peace.

--Diva

WIND BURNED

2010-02-17T22:51:00.002-07:00

There are times when the sky
is on fire

red and dark

When I hear
techno verse

as I drive

west

Walking out
onto the steps
of my home

into the wind

as if I stepped onto planet none.

Nothing familiar

but your

absent arms.

--Diva

BRIEF ENCOUNTER

2010-02-13T01:15:00.001-07:00

She innocently touched my thigh
with a grin on her face she couldn't deny
My quaking knees gave me away
Upon my skin she didn't stay.
Waltzed right out of the room
As sweat beaded down my bloom
then I unleashed a mild shake
She caused the earth, yes my heart,
to shake.

--Diva

LOST

2010-02-12T23:57:00.003-07:00

Lost

In the lilies,

In the fields

Where I let my heart run

Free of will

I lost my soul

I lost my mind.

The sun passed quickly.

I lost time.

--Diva

VELVET BLANKET

2010-02-12T23:53:00.001-07:00

I laid with rose petals on my lips.

Thick, velvet red on each lid.

Sweetness covered my chest.

Each breath,

Causing a petal to flutter.

Gently tickle my skin.

Feeling as though

You were on me.

My navel, my nipple

And chin.

I slept in a bed of roses.

Brought to me

Through your love,

The same as when you sleep

Next to me.

My tender, lovely bud.

--Diva

OLD OAK

2010-02-08T21:21:00.001-07:00

Can you bear my burden old oak
as I sit in your shade and pray?
Will this iron bench support my worries
as they grow throughout the day?
The wind feels it may sweep me
down the road to oblivion.
Can you bear my burden old oak
as I search my depths within?

Slowly I uncover and peel my bark
My history and maze.
I'm not as strong as you are
I'm lost in the foggy haze.
How do you stand and weather all?
Day in and out so straight.

You stretch across the acreage
The universe and sky
You birth each spring a new life
and in fall your children die.
Large as life you continue
Come back stronger and so right.

I lay my burdens on your root
My blood seeps into your ground
If I cannot keep my life alive
I donate it to your own.

--Diva

YEARS

2010-02-08T21:04:00.001-07:00

When I remember life
Is it mine?

Really?

How did those years elude me?
I watched intently
Though I did not see

them

flutter by

away

and gone.

--Diva

POISON

2010-01-28T23:05:00.003-07:00

She said, "I've come from afar to love you"

Our lies that were told saved none from truth

But the damage is done and now here we are

yes the damage is done and the damage is ours.

In time you will see I'll be yours, you'll be mine.

We'll be family, strong and dedicated we'll shine

and I followed as I do, so often I'm lost

whether lead or follow, so high is my cost.

She said, "we'll make a life, here or there"

We continued to travel the maps while we share.

I'll back you up to extreme; in fact I'll own you

I'm sure that's what she means.

I invited her in, the poison and all.

The excitement, the lure, such a sultry call.

I ignored my real life, lost my real wife

sold my soul for a ticket destined to hell.

She asked, "will you go back, would she even want you"?

A sigh of relief and set...determined when I said, quietly, no.

Weak and reliant a vulnerable spirit

In darkness I stewed. Alone, still, and used.

The new and hopeful promises faded away

But I clung to the hope of will you marry me.

What would I say, in this bed that I made?

My future based on such a mistake.

With that she went home, miles and miles away.

Where her life and her new girl await.

I still had the plan fresh on my tongue.

Unbeknownst to me, I thought I was the one.

Wreckers never stay; it's the nature of the beast.

Poison leaves its mark, through each ring of the tree.

My life unraveled in an instant before my eyes

A vault was opened, the damn broke,

light came to every fucking lie.

The secrets I kept the patterns that bled.

Darkness was obscenely filling my head.

So stupid and blindly I followed this spawn

Ignorant, hurt, a fool when she had gone.

I grappled for a footing, grasping at straws

Can I learn from what I lived, what I saw?

Dismiss her last words, blatantly real

"People fall out of love every day, no big deal"

I mean so little, I stand for nothing.

The universe is now empty - all from a fling.

In this mess I cannot salvage or find

Something to hold onto, not one thing.

Once again, I sit rocking, sobbing on the floor.

Bleeding from the sharp edges of a piece of my heart.

God does not make a glue for this heart.

Mine which imploded in despair.

High velocity torched it black, sharp and bare.

It would not be fair to reach out again

not to inflict this (me), to another one

Damaged and empty I've nothing to sell

I couldn't bear to inflict this upon another soul

What is to become of me on my cross?

Ridiculed and naked, spiritually lost?

I will not find myself in another’s eyes.

I may never find myself, I may never try.

--Diva

YOU ASKED

2010-01-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

It's more than all the time we've lost
those years we parted ways.
It's how deep the heart and holes got
Every separated day.

That I missed the sighs you breathed
for the Gods and skies relief.
And was not there to hear the
echoed tears in the rains release?

Much more than yearning passion
Never there to fill the void.
As parched I roamed the lands
Without your liquid voice.

It's moments not recoverable for both
our hearts.... they are gone.
Those years of life we lived apart
choices of love, right or wrong.

Those became our realities
Still empty pieces remain.
Once filled by our delicacies
Now hinder many pains.

Not all is lost, thrown to the wind.
Your written word, I heard.
My small moments held to my heart
I dare not ask for more.

--Diva

REMINISCENT

2010-01-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

I’m frigid cold

in a bed of snow

Sheets

Alone.

Awake to glimpse

there’s morning light

Immerse my face into a pillow

Of ease.

My childs tiny body slips in

From the cold.

Wraps her body

around mine

In sleep.

For this we are never too old.

Her hair lays upon my shoulder

And the

Sweetest breath touches my neck

Reminding me

How she came to be

A fragile gift

My heart would need.

I can only hope I will feel this breath

Again.

Throughout my years

And tormented life

It will be my faith

And grace.

My comforting rhythm

Until mine ceases

And I die.

-- Diva

NEEDLE AND THREAD

2010-01-17T21:18:00.001-07:00

Your broken heart needs mending

I’ll cradle you in the shadowed silhouettes

Of those who mock your pain.

--Diva

THE OPEN ROOM

2010-01-17T21:13:00.002-07:00

I create my solace room

Unbeknownst to me

Seal myself in a lonely tomb

With walls as high as I can see

I feel myself enclosed and small

Although I want to desperately be free

I don’t know how to step out the door

Or walk away from this prison

That protects me.

I’m frightened and I’m lost

I have no reason in this day

It is all I have been taught

So far fear’s been my only way

I see outside my walls

Is beauty beyond my words?

It seems so far from my reach

It seems a different world

The beauty encompasses joy

And peace then love I feel.

I watched it for the longest time

From my walls

Not believing it was real.

Then without my knowledge

It crept into my room

The bliss I admired from afar

Decorated the walls of my tomb

I never gave permission

I didn’t know it was even there

Until I had the roof blown off

And sat with awe in my stare

The light brought into my life

I had only admired, never taste

But God I wish I could fill my desire

And savor every day

--Diva

ORBITING

2010-01-17T21:09:00.003-07:00

The earth will still for your breath

The world could explode with a soft

touch of your lips

My heart stops with each sigh you

give

The moon will circle

Eternally

That you live.

-Diva

EXHAUSTED

2010-01-13T00:09:00.000-07:00

My podiatrist would chastise me

If I had one to love my feet.

The chiropractor would scorn my acts

After he adjusted my aching back.

My sweet dermatologist would dismay

at the wrinkles created on my face.

The optrician nodded his head in shame

telling me to pick out my new frames.

My trusted beautician shook her head in disgust

at my roots and my gray that grows out each month.

I cannot even repeat what the gynocologist said

While I lay in his stirrups, his makeshift bed.

So I may need to consult a plastic surgeon soon.

To creat the new me worthy to swoon.

I'm sagging and drooping from north to south

There's cussing and cursing loud from my mouth.

Aging comes graceful...yah graceful my ass

Speaking of which I wince when I look back.

It's not for sissies, this act of ancient.

Indeed my body is very well spent.

-Diva

TAKER

2010-01-09T00:52:00.001-07:00

I am a taker in life, that's me.
I take from others, endlessly.
Shameful and brazen I behave
Through time and life, I take.

I take the passion, often sought.
I take the pleasures, being caught.
Take the touch given me.
Take the kisses, take the free.

I take from family and from friends.
I take beginnings and I take ends.
I need this take to survive.
I breathe this take to be alive.

I'll take your smile right to my face.
I take your words with lighted grace.
I take your glances to my heart.
I take the pain of us apart.

I'm greedy...I take what I need.
I take compassion, I take the lead.
I'll take your generosity each time.
I'll take advice like nurtured wine.

I take the sun and light and air.
I take the stones and soil here.
I take this earth that's given me
I take my opportunity.

I take the comfort, I take the ease.
I take the quiet and the peace.
I take the gifts and bobbles, cute.
I take all the trinkets and the loot.

I'll take your ear to ease my grief
I'll take your heart for my relief.
I'll take your hand to hold in mine.
I'll take your lips to my divine.

I take assumptions and license.
I take common and regrets.
I take the comforts of your home.
I take you as my own.

I take your advice, right or wrong.
I take the risk in the storm.
I take abuse, I take each strike.
I take victories, I take each fight.

I take your breath and take your thought.
I take your time, take the whole clock.
I take my chances and take some dares.
I take your graciousness and cares.

Yes I was born a taker first.
I take from all like hungry thirst.
I take from light to dark of day.
I take to often get my way.

I'll take your whispers, every word
I'll take my blessings from the Lord.
I'll take your graciousness with pride
I'll take your truths and your lies.

I take the tears, the sting
I take the fear of losing
I take criticisms face
I take the pennies for the race

I take the notion and believe
There are born two different seeds.
The takers and the givers both
I take in life, I take the most.

--Diva

EMPTY LOT

2009-12-29T22:46:00.001-07:00

There is not room
in this head
for space
nor thought

unless erased memories

purchase lot

Has the time come
to heal, forget
this mess

my dismal

twisted head

I use to have
drawn in my mind
concrete plans

not sands to find.

Time. My journey.
my fingers

lost

nothing to count
my balance

off

My reins not loosened
never abused
my missing lead rope

never used.

Dreams are not
to be lasso'd in

not harnessed

nor broken

nor seen.

--Diva

OCEAN

2009-12-12T01:26:00.002-07:00

Light and bubbly

fingertips of God

Roll to me, draw me

lull in my needs

from deep.

He feathers along

the fringes of me.

his - "I am" and 'I' ....only me.

He recedes.

Vast, deep, his arms - (he)

stretch and grow.

I shrink back in body

I swell toward him

in soul.

Apprehensive, I breathe

Humbled by such thrum.

Exhaling my need, desire to delve

freedom of waves lap my ankles.

Enticing by volume

Sounds larger than space

I'm spoken to and around

teetering foamy cold lace.

It is I who hesitates

I who recedes.

Until I give to him

my want and my need.

I answer his beckon

his thunderous call.

allow him to cover me

without fear from his swell.

I hear echoes, feel grains

no needs with faith

My memory is clear

what he gave and

what he takes.

I'm lured and enticed

In the wonder....the spell

I am awed by expanse

the sky and the sail.

Coming and flowing, ebbing

endless toil.

Twirling earth and rock

living creatures

solid shell.

I wait for the rise

level with moonlight

after sun has set

beyond the twilight.

It is dark, so black

Ominous...constant backlash

no rest for this weary

ocean of vast.

Roll and draw

through hours of night

grasp my heart

to the gravity of pull

with delight.

Take me out

into the sea

drown my troubles

my faults,

drown me.

For daybreak will come

glowing the sky

gathering the whisked

churning of high.

Back to the land

where he gently places me

Back to the hard

stark reality.

I will lay wet

shaking naked on sand.

I will sob senseless

grasping for his

liquid hand.

Watching him roll

sleeking away.

Into the horizon his tendrils floating

past bay.

I weep exhausted

gaze at the sky.

I wish I was with my father

No strength for pride.

The horizon is empty

he's cast me away

not willing to take me

simply tease my toes

with foam lace.

(unfinished)

--Diva

IT IS YOU

2009-11-21T10:04:00.003-07:00

Wish I knew

How to give

like you.

The most unselfish

Being I’ve known.

Such a complete love

A myth to me.

You showed up

Perhaps a dream.

But then you held me.

You kissed my mouth.

And slept with me

And showed me soft.

You wanted me

And took me too.

I was in disbelief

I needed you.

Your love grew strong.

Didn’t fade away.

You didn’t leave,

I didn’t make you stay.

You chose to love me

And open your soul.

You accepted me,

As a whole.

Each day now, I feel you more.

In my heart and life.

Naked in your eyes,

Standing as an unprotected soul.

I learn to trust so naturally,

Which is something I don’t know.

Where have you led me,

My dear wife.

With your fingertips and voice.

That I would know desire and want,

And it is not a choice.

It is destiny,

It is love,

It is you.

--Diva

WISE

2009-11-21T01:30:00.002-07:00

Some may say I've lost my mind

But little do they know

How simple and wise am I

I hid it in my soul.

--Diva
(One of my favorites)

DRAW ME IN

2009-11-21T00:31:00.001-07:00

I saw the world end

in a dream

God how real

to hear the scream

Scream for me to save them

Scream for me to bend

In my weakness take them

Upon my back and wing

Fly them to the heavens

Far away from the pain

Where quiet and peace are reeking

And they no longer scream

At me.

Close to death we seem

Without appreciating the dream.

Life….we named it long ago.

A glimpse, a gasp, less than a moment, past.

Entwined in a thought surreal and true.

Once was flesh and broadened horizons

That have ends we never knew

Anchored ourselves to real and pain

Time and evil and rain

Exist.

Drew us in to live here for now

Foreigners on this land.

--Diva

DARE

2009-11-13T23:09:00.006-07:00

I’ve watched an eagle

Dare a sienna sky

At the edge of steep cliffs

I’d stand, couldn’t fly.

-Diva (as published in "A Diva's Forte", Lulu Publishing)

SLOW FALL

2009-11-13T23:07:00.004-07:00

It was a rain shower of frosted silhouettes.

Crisp autumn piling on the ground.

As the branches bled, deflowered

Were bare and silent by sundown.

--Diva

THIN

2009-10-25T13:09:00.002-06:00

Where are you
While my life changes?
Teetering from the living and dead
Walking the brink of unknown
Where are you in this darkness
my home.

I cannot see you
nor can I hear
In this dismal expanse of disappear.
I remember though, your taste
your smell.
This is all I have, here in
My hell.

I hold your lightest touch
In my vaulted mind
I hope it is safe there
and doesn't fade
Like the rest of my life.

Parchment thin my skin becomes
Fragile from lack of a touch
As if time peels back layers
Leaving more exposed
My tender nerves
My vacant soul.

Days reap me and leave me raw
Caresses only felt in my illusionistic mind.
If real, would salt my freshest wounds
Poured lemon and crushed rind.

Reverted back to virginal
My thin ivory skin
is becoming transparent after all
Waiting to be broken.

TOMBSTONE

2009-10-25T13:02:00.001-06:00

Ageless, timeless, you have been
In the ground no longer seen
For but a stone the sun gleans on
With words and letters written upon
Some say names and dates I found
Not many claim much profound
Struggling to remain unwretched from overgrowth
Surviving storms and seasons both
Decades, centuries later, some may
Walk upon your ancient decay
A name unknown to most is seen
Tho in your day it meant everything.

--Diva

TOPPER

2009-10-14T22:03:00.002-06:00

How does one define
strength, pride and refine?
Where do you start
where do you end
when you try to define
balance and sound?
Beauty beyond passionate words
Placed in her life,
Brought to her world.
The equinely mazaratti exists
in the paint Stallion of hers
The genuine gift.
His chest is out his ears perked fine
A long perfect swoosh
in rhythm from his behind.
A lazy bent leg, a relaxed and cool stance
So different from his electric dance.
He is beautiful, kind and strong
He will walk the walk and walk in hand
Willingly allow you to harness his head
Willingly desire for the touch of your hand.
He's thankful for your ride and brush
He knows your love and knows your cuss
But do not forget for one moment in time
First and foremost he is a stallion of fine line.

--Diva

ROSE

2009-10-12T21:44:00.001-06:00

She held the soft rose,

That my lover gave.

Cupped in her hands,

Across her young face.

The rose as white,

As her tender skin.

With her nose impaled,

To the fragrant sin.

Back and forth, around her eyes.

So gentle with petals,

Ever precious she tries,

To hold them.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" by Lulu Publishing

SOFTLY

2009-10-12T21:42:00.001-06:00

So softly you look at me

Deep into my soul

You hold me fast

Don’t think you can let go

Don’t step away or back

Hold me closer

See my eyes smolder

Flames of love

Reach for you

Stretch above

To make you warm

But never harm

Your soul.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" by Lulu Publishing

BLOSSOMS

2009-10-08T22:44:00.002-06:00

She has wanted flowers in her hair

Since she was small

Though boys didn’t care.

The only men in her life

When she was small

And life was bright

Was her daddy who held her

Soft and warm

And God above who kept her strong.

And all through the years

She wore flowers in her hair

From boys she met

From places far and near

And pressed them in a book

Kept them close to her heart

So that when they died

They never fell apart.

She was a flower girl in a wedding once

And went to senior prom

Where she danced and danced

And her daddy bought her flowers

The day she made the team

And she picked the perfect ones

For her bouquet in the spring

She pressed each one

From when her son was born

Even kept the ones from friends

When she broke her arm.

The day came when the flowers

In her hair

Fell onto her father in a grave so bare.

Save one for her book, pressed so neat

To keep close to her heart not under her feet.

But her favorite blooms, even now,

Come from God too.

They aren’t picked or wrapped

But are always new…

Occasionally she’ll press them for memories sake

But wears one in her hair

Each day.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Child" Lulu Publishing

MISSING

2009-10-08T22:43:00.001-06:00

She’ll never find a man

To love her as she needs

There isn’t one, could understand,

Her affections as she breathes.

A man could never reach her

He’ll miss her beauty

And grace she beholds.

Deep within her being it lives.

This part of her soul

He’ll never know.

No, she’ll never find a man

To fulfill her.

One who could fill her needs.

Her mother always held her.

And told her

Be free, forever free.

A man won’t hold her

Like her mama did.

It will never be enough

But she’ll remember

What her mama said

And yearn for her gentle touch

The touch all men have lost.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Child" Lulu Publishing

WARM DISTANCE

2009-10-08T22:41:00.003-06:00

From far away her echoed voice

Seeps deeply into my mind.

Aloft the wind

Tendrils

She sweetly sings

To sunset and higher wings

To me.

-Diva
as published in " A Diva's Child " Lulu Publishing

FADING

2009-10-04T20:11:00.001-06:00

She feels

her body

coming

Then come

into its own.

As quickly

it subsides

she feels

moving

her passion.

--Diva

LONG STORY

2009-09-30T17:17:00.002-06:00

Such a long story, I'll tell from under my hat
In the shade of full vineyards...where shall I start?
I'll share that I loved, that I cheated and I lied.
Decades....a bullet train of regret I ride.

It snowed and rained, many days, many nights.
Floods of change invaded, my dark and the light
Thoughts in my mind, just a little askew.
Numbers and memories don't add up, I reviewed.

Chapters of my life. My time broken down
into links of chains that keep me bound.
To this earth, to this heaven and the hell
I'm falling, it's dark, down this reflecting deep well.

--Diva

ORANGE BLOSSOMS II

2009-09-28T23:21:00.001-06:00

Would orange blossoms in my hair
bring you back to me?

A kiss so soft, you'd not dare
return it out of greed.

If my skin were drenched
in bliss of vanilla

Could you still resist
Or would you then...

past all pretense
Sweep me off my feet?

Deep as diamonds of midnight
Sky you would fall into me

If only I were something more
Behold....I am me.

--Diva (as published in "A Diva Speaks" Lulu Publishing)

ORANGE BLOSSOMS

2009-09-28T23:17:00.002-06:00

Would orange blossoms in my hair
bring you back to me?

Or a home donned with so fine
of scents to fill your every need?

Whispers of my love for you.
Break these walls alone.

Tears of patience overcome
My will to be so strong.

Were I to be an angel
Would I take you in my wings?

Lain upon my breast
You could rest and love me eternally.

--Diva

IRREPLACEABLE

2009-09-28T07:58:00.001-06:00

You are irreplaceable
as laughter
which you bring to me

and you are thee

You spread yourself
over my soul
I call it joy

I know you
to be yours
to feel the warmth
of a tear

brought to life
by a spirits kiss
and not hatred or fear

Never shall I find another
so with me
you must stay

For God knows
I cannot live
Without your bliss

Not one minute
Not one day.

--Diva

END

2009-09-28T07:50:00.002-06:00

My life has rounded out

To one painful instance

After another

Each encounter bringing

Me further

Around the bend

It is like a ride

With unknown destination

Being so far off

There is no hope

And though I know

Death exists

I see no end.

--Diva

SHADOW

2009-09-22T23:15:00.002-06:00

I've tried to maintain a shadow.
keeping something close to me
Within reach to hold for comfort
Within sight to feel and need.

I learned the sun moves quickly
Changing my shadows place
And if I'm not carefully tending
With the sun, my shadow fades.

Then I am left here....staring
Alone at the world so dark.
Wishing the sun would rise on me
So we wouldn't be apart.

--Diva

*Photo by ShaiLynn Draper*

Unfinished

2009-09-21T19:45:00.001-06:00

I have such clarity
God continues to harp the same tune to my ears,
Upon my soul, against my head.
Amy...he sings, why won't you hear?
Amy...he speaks, why aren't you there?
Amy...he screams I no longer can help.
Amy...he whispers you're all but dead.

But Lord you must know I could not see
My Lord, nothing was clear
I searched and I reached, out

to nothingness

black with shades of gray.
I grasped and clawed so familiar to me
No forgiveness was found
No love to be.

The father shows me, it's clear where I stand
How I weigh
It's daily, unmistaken pain I bear
It is not a wish, a request I make
It seeps into my cells, chokes my soul uninvited
It makes home, a bed to lay.

Then the universe speaks, it booms
Echoes loud and clear
God gathers his strength, his passion and spear
Why my child do you not understand?
You were given no tools, no hope
nor born with peace.
You're not given the answers to this riddle of life
can't you learn
simple paradoxes, man.

I see my peers, the fellow mankind.
Some lost forever. Changed.
Some peaced and those pained.
Reveled in light and moments
How is their destiny different from mine?
We feel the same flames
hear the same dogs
and now I am sure I hear voices they don't.

--Diva

DYING FATHER

2009-09-18T22:21:00.001-06:00

My father's dying and I do not believe
we did our best, him and me.
I guess I figured if I didn't call
It would be the last time
we spoke at all.
But it isn't right to avoid the man, my father.
I have this choice I can live like
the days are mine
Or remember he hasn't left much time.
And no, he didn't do his best
He's just a man and now needs to rest.
He made our days so hard and long
He made us wait, he made us mourn.
So I find it hard to find in my heart
The peace to give before he parts.
I doubt myself and my regrets.
That there are none at all in what is left.
What kind of person could I be
To turn my heart and simply leave?
Well what more could I discern
I'm my fathers daughter
It's what I learned.

--Diva

HEAL

2009-09-18T21:46:00.000-06:00

My heart must heal

Prepare for new

Undo the scars

Made by you

This tortured soul

Needs to be free

My endless pain

Must cease.

-- Diva

YOU WIN

2009-09-16T19:48:00.001-06:00

You drive me through planes
unknown and unseen
Maneuver through pleasure
and ecstacy

Street signs are blurred
Not to be deterred
from our destination
our love.

Every touch shifts down
humming and low
no brakes needed
Just floor it, let's go.

Go into my realm
drive my reality insane
Drive past my heart
again and again.

You win.

--Diva

My fathers 46' Mercury

FATHER

2009-09-16T19:45:00.000-06:00

Father....shallow hopes with empty shells
eventually slick from grainy hells
I amazed you can wash away
the pain, the hate
with forceful waves

Rather, left in the wet, under the sun
Open to nature to drown and burn
Yes, he abandoned his ship and crew
to blindly travel his lone canoe.

While he drunkedly navigates his storms alone
We blanket our life with shallow hope
A place to begin and grow.

--Diva

EACH BREATH

2009-09-14T23:28:00.002-06:00

Each breath creates
possibilities

Blooming in the
abyss of night

I count each beat
My heart utters

Holding back
morning light

I guess at what
your eyes may say

And know it's right
where your hand may lay

Upon me
Along me
Inside.

--Diva

CLEANED

2009-09-13T21:20:00.001-06:00

Amidst desolate hearts
Glimmers of light were found
Gleaming between the dark webs
That have dampened our passions
they shone.

As light on crystal waters
Dance and lively flow
The light created love
Little did we know
The empty spaces left
When webs removed
and clean.

The void of darkness recovered
In heart when the light
Found its way home.
The other abandoned
Once they were apart
Left for cobwebs to grow.

--Diva

SPIDERS

2009-09-10T00:20:00.002-06:00

Silvery strands by moonlight
An art piece, simple, wild and true
His home no illusion or threatened
by my existence nor by you.
He chose my home to share
an honor I bear so I'll let him rest
mend his work and feed
as we all do.

He is hidden this chill morning.
For the daylight hours, he packed away.
To replace him the prey and singers fly
Stopping by their nests along the way.
I offer my trees. my porch, and stones
Again honored they chose this for home.
For their children to birth, to hatch
At seasons will
Such beauty, simple intracacies of life
God amazes me still.

The pines lay out before me
My pup and child in hand
No place to be, only to see
and hear whispers of earths land
Quakies speak, speak to me in the breeze
I will listen to your dance in
graceful ease.
And watch the clouds gather
like shoring sand.

Life shimmers on wing and leaf and rock
Initial sparkles of this earthly lot.
Every color of the rainbow shows
in autumn, spring, summer,and in winters snow.
How amazed and grateful I am to see
All that God has given me.

--Diva

ULTIMATE GIVE

2009-09-09T02:14:00.000-06:00

Death grappled at my feet
begged and chatted
sweet nothings to me
I breathed in the feeling
Desperately wanted the meaning
It patiently cried to me
in supplication

I felt its sympathy

Exhaled its need.
The need to be a part of this.
I please, I dote, extreme to smote
for the cause, to fulfill
the desire, the will

Death wants to be complete.

The only way to close
that circle, my wheel
Is to sacrifice myself
and give, to give, in wholeness give
What has been dark secretley planned
designed, permanently mine.
Death.

--Diva

WISH

2009-09-01T19:56:00.001-06:00

I heard her say

I saw the most beautiful woman today

Wish I were there.

--Diva

FAMILY

2009-09-01T15:23:00.001-06:00

For all my family

That's come and gone

For all the rights

and all the wrongs

Together we're made

Our life complete

All connected by

The thread of life

Protected by angels wings.

--Diva

GLOW

2009-08-31T22:34:00.002-06:00

Summer sun awaits me
Naked skin exposed
Inviting the universe
To touch me
With my eyes closed
To the brightened sky
I lie and glow.

--Diva

WARM

2009-08-27T22:49:00.004-06:00

Warmth lapping across my face
Not furnace hot, now late August
The cool water, my limbs embrace
Breezes blowing the leaves and brush

I have no memory of this peace
No constant highway fills my mind
I cannot recall this mental ease
Quiet has not been a friend of mine

This day of Indian summer skies
Unfamiliar relaxed my body is
No hidden agendas, half truths or lies
Simplicity still remains a twist

Among my quickened patter heart
Laid upon the bare shelf in my brain
Tucked away, gathering dusty art
Is bliss, by no other name.

--Diva

ABSENT AMAZEMENT

2009-08-26T10:46:00.006-06:00

Anticipating life's maddening existence
to ease up, be kind to my soul.
As sure as I see the sun rise each day
No escape relinquishes itself to know.
Absent peace, how I dream of a tempered heart
among many illusions to me.
My body, full of imperfections
This mind twisted and arrayed.
Seldom do I find much peace at night.
In my chosen bed of thorns
upon which I lay.
Not even those simple miracles
blue skies, a child's curious ways,
how lightning shatters a stormy blaze,
and the beating of a broken heart
much is lost on me, I'm not amazed.

--Diva

CHAINS

2009-08-25T00:42:00.004-06:00

Can you provide what I need?
Possess the will to be on your knees?
A good girl in chains, prepared to be slain
Be mine with no mercy tonight.

I'll tie you up to the cross.
All your beggings of me are lost.
I will tighten the grip, slowly, so slowly strip.
I'll let you nibble then I'll bite soft flesh.

As I stroke you to the brink
I'm sure you will think...I am evil.
But that all goes away, when you see light of day
Just remember me in leather so tight.

While you sit at your desk
Keep your memory pressed
To the heels that dug into your skin.
Overflow of ecstasy you're in
As I suck you with your hands tied above your head.

Don't forget the true bliss
Of that soft gentle kiss
You received while I whipped your bare ass.

I was yours, you were mine
For that moment in time.
and again, I will be
when you...on your knees
Call me master.

--Diva

TIED INHIBITIONS

2009-08-23T14:22:00.002-06:00

I live on the apron strings
of God

With autumn maple
syrup in my hair

Spring rain clasped
to my ankles

And summer sun
is my affair.

--Diva

VENOM

2009-08-22T23:52:00.003-06:00

No one should love me
I'll venom them away
To save me from their cruelty
That eventually they lay

Then I won't have to live
Under hurt and pain
I can try to salvage
That which keeps me sane

Eventually they tell me
I don't need you no more
I could never love you
I don't want a whore

They leave me tired and bloody
From the battle in my heart
A void the size of oceans
Keeping me apart

With no guilt...the bitches
Go and lead their merry lives
God sent me down to Earth
and mock the normal wife

--Diva

I SEE

2009-08-22T23:48:00.004-06:00

Do you think God touches me
When I sleep, when I'm alone.
Would he whisper to me
and brush my hair back
Away from my eyes, my cheek
So I could see better, truth
And I would feel him all around
Embracing me with what is real
Enveloping my soul
Then my heart would know
My eyes are closed and yet I see.

--Diva

HAND TO HOLD

2009-08-22T23:43:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I can still feel
How you once loved me
I mourn and miss it
My heart empties

I was not to be your one
Or theirs, or his or hers.
Still where I turn on this plane
The hand I hold's my own.

I chose not to begin again
I know my soul's alone.

--Diva

ASHES

2009-08-21T17:09:00.003-06:00

I'm afraid you never loved me.
Though handsome comfort
I have brought.
You have no passion for me.
There should dare to venture
Into this empty shell, my heart.
My flaming cords dwindled away.
From neglect and the cold.
God how I could have burned you once.
Singed you at the tips.
Before my temptress ways
Were dashed.
Ignored to ash my stony lips.
Time has past, I hibernate.
Still churning in my soul.
Without the passion and the touch
Never again will I be whole.

--Diva
as published in "When a True Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

HIDE

2009-08-21T17:06:00.002-06:00

Do I hide my sanity?

Well behind my memories?

So well, I have forgotten both?

-- Diva
as published in "When A True Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

ONE

2009-08-19T19:33:00.003-06:00

I'm broken
Can you not see
The severed pieces
of me
Can you not hear
me crack
and sear
Under the pretenses
within the fear
So as you turn
Your blinded eye
I delve through
the bottomless
lost and dark night
I'm drowning
can you not hear
my gasp and gurgled
wet interior
I'm reaching
Yet you do not see
Just past my dark
eternity
I'm lost and haggard
so bruised and alone
bleeding, still weeping
pulled down as a stone.
Dying, I'm dying
A faint ripple in time.
Can you not feel
me dying, my dried vine
Is it quiet?
Is that light?
Am I solitude?
Is there right?
Am I blinded
deaf and dumb?
Now alone
I am one.

--Diva

LONGFELLOW

2009-08-18T21:09:00.002-06:00

Perfection bound in human form
eternity stamped papyrus
1841 relived in my hands
running my fingers through your masters

History, breath, your words elect
the taste of extraordinare
gold foil your namesake
in eternities formal flair

Ink and well, your dabbled script
Your genius, charm and depth
How I would have loved to shake your hand
to feel your heartful souls experience

Different century, changing times
I drift into your verse, your dreams
We seldom write such gorgeous lines.
I hold sacred what each word means.

To smell the history in each page
I step back time with etching vision
How could you know you held such grace
and touched our innocence.

--Diva

SUGAR SUGAR

2009-08-17T22:32:00.004-06:00

Put me on your tongue darling
Crystal and so sweet
I'll follow you around the world
in the Sahara among palm trees
Your cool beverage, I'll complete.

Refine me, warm, sun up, sun down.
My red tomatoe pie.
Pack me into your silly spaces
I'll be your snap pea and harvest corn
I'll be your holiday so adorned.
Hot baby, I'll make you sigh.

I've met your diverse clan of friends.
Made love to your shy vanilla bean.
And sinful are my interludes with cocoa
your old obscene.

Please, honey, don't shut me out.
Don't substitute my worth.
I come from overseas to you.
From homes of mighty girth.

You know you want my soda pop.
You know you love my tea.
It just would never be right
Without you sweetheart.....you need me.

I'll powder you and dust your dreams.
Your secret's safe, cubed and raw with me.
Just promise you'll find a place
in that diet,
your sugar loves thee.

--Diva

AS I AM

2009-08-15T16:09:00.001-06:00

Take me as I am
Faults and guts
scars
- the lot.

Embrace the me
you'll love
to be
--all mine.

My pedestal needn't
be very high
and only seen
by you.

The passion, however..
deep as can be
and envied by all
..shared by none.

Take me darlin'
as I am.
I've taken you in
..my brand.

--Diva

EMPTY

2009-08-14T21:27:00.003-06:00

So here I sit in this empty room
As you sit in yours.
How did we get here
This place in time?
What about all we ignored.

Today how is your heart?
Aching badly is mine.

And my mind is bewildered.
All confused with these walls.
They know this isn’t our home.
Searching for the comfort,
Avoiding the pleading my heart calls,
I am numb.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

INNER CHILD

2009-08-14T21:25:00.001-06:00

The inner child
I’ve never known
The child ignored
And silenced to stone

The hope and possibilities
My inner child had
Were never fed to bloom
Not acknowledged good or bad

So the tougher I got
And stronger I seemed
My outer child stood tall and alone
Some think I even grew mean

But deep within my aching soul
My child wept and shook in pain
I went as far as begging for love
Which seems all done in vain

--Diva
As published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

THAT PART OF ME

2009-08-12T23:01:00.003-06:00

I understand part of me
Like glass in sand
Under my feet.
The painful glitches
dug in my soul
ruts in the muddy unknown.
Those parts not oiled
Not working right.
Those parts worn ragged
Some parts not light.

I want them extracted
torn from me.
I wish them weeded
To never seed.
I need the wind to pull them away
cast them into the darkness
Where I won't stray.

Alien, learned,
not of my heart
Claustrophobic
always trying to run.
Intolerant of this
Raging mark.

No longer let it grow
or thrive
No further keeping it alive
This part of me
I know and despise
This death I pray
to leave me good.
This Annihilation
A new part of me shall rise.

--Diva

WHEN WE'RE OLD

2009-08-11T23:25:00.004-06:00

The lamp switch holds my fingertips.
My kiss reaches your brow.
Carefully I pull your book and lay it
on the ground.

Seems the tenderest motions
I've ever processed in my life.
Know my hand and heart will follow
These steps, till we die.

When you are 80 my love,
I'll go to make my tea
Back in bed I'll reach for your book
and hope you reach for me.

--Diva

TEARS

2009-08-11T23:20:00.002-06:00

Tears from such tender eyes.
My heart aches with each moist lash she holds.
And for every salty drop
That glides
upon her face
I choke
on tears of my own.
Holding those back to save us
So we don't drown.

--Diva

8.15.97

2009-08-11T23:17:00.005-06:00

She is the sky in the morning.
In all my comings and goings.
She is my heartbeat and my breath.
There when I have nothing left.
She is every color I can feel
And the shade of roses that I smell.
She is music and dancing,
Simple and fancy, to me.
She is a warm summer night.
White doves in flight.
Hard candy and honey
and boy is she funny.
My ins, my outs,
My love, my life.
Michelle, My wife.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

NOT HER

2009-08-10T19:23:00.002-06:00

I have been weighed and measured
and been found wanting every time
I know I don't own your heart
Your eyes aren't even mine.
So how is it I'm punished
for a loss I never took
How should I feel
With a love not real
Eternally second best.
God I'm lonely and only wish
to feel important, to feel bliss.
Meanwhile you are biding time
Waiting for your day
to be back in her arms
For decades alone I lay
I'm just your waste of time
To fill in long days
Until you're back in line
With your one, soul mate.

--Diva

EYES

2009-08-10T19:19:00.002-06:00

Where did you get the
Sapphires in your eyes
Made by a temptress
Designed to anchor lies
The same who etched
this heart from stone
and built this room
for me alone.

--Diva

OLD WOMAN

2009-08-09T02:11:00.002-06:00

Who wants this old woman, seasoned and torn?
In her mid thirties, not much to adorn.
With heavy dark eyes that see all in your heart
Her whispers mean more than your fine hanging art?
She's been more places than those with their jets.
She's loved more deeply than I'd dare to bet.
And she blends into the wall as if not even here.
And the fire of her anger will melt you in fear.
This old beaten woman with eyes of a saint
Will lead you through life with her elegant gait.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Child" (Lulu Publishing)

SET SAIL

2009-08-07T23:59:00.003-06:00

To bear this soul
alone
has been my quest.
What I have done
a purpose
now
breeds light and air
lacks direction
dare I steer?
This ship that's rampant
on a motherly sea
the crew abandoned
left only me
starved for days
There has been no land
to rest my sails
I've been misguided
directly to hell
and now the waters
against the grain
have brought no mercy
nor has the rain

I sail and sail
through night and day
well worth the fight
I found my way
My compass hidden
worn and old
deep in my pocket
deep in my soul.
An oasis awaited
my return
your healing hands
to tend my burns
And eyes I know
from long ago
From the heavens
from before.
Before our journeys
in high tide
Made it back
for our life.

--Diva

I WAS A STRANGER

2009-08-06T18:42:00.002-06:00

I was a stranger today
In rose colored skies
and vanilla wind.

I stood alone,
questioned life
I looked and crept deep within.

A Stranger.

The geese flew low
Wingtips loft
upon the wind...
that made me lost.

They call this sky
their humble home.
I call it...infinity
......to alone.

My feet
yet grounded to this field.
A field of lost hope
and daffodil.

Fed by the sun
and wind and rain.
That don't exist
in this strangers mind.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

LOST TIME

2009-08-06T18:40:00.002-06:00

In the Lillie's
In the fields

where I let my heart run
free of will.

I lost my soul
I lost my mind
The sun passed quickly
I lost time.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)