LONG STORY

Such a long story, I'll tell from under my hat
In the shade of full vineyards...where shall I start?
I'll share that I loved, that I cheated and I lied.
Decades....a bullet train of regret I ride.

It snowed and rained, many days, many nights.
Floods of change invaded, my dark and the light
Thoughts in my mind, just a little askew.
Numbers and memories don't add up, I reviewed.

Chapters of my life. My time broken down
into links of chains that keep me bound.
To this earth, to this heaven and the hell
I'm falling, it's dark, down this reflecting deep well.

--Diva

ORANGE BLOSSOMS II

Would orange blossoms in my hair
bring you back to me?

A kiss so soft, you'd not dare
return it out of greed.

If my skin were drenched
in bliss of vanilla

Could you still resist
Or would you then...

past all pretense
Sweep me off my feet?

Deep as diamonds of midnight
Sky you would fall into me

If only I were something more
Behold....I am me.

--Diva (as published in "A Diva Speaks" Lulu Publishing)

ORANGE BLOSSOMS

Would orange blossoms in my hair
bring you back to me?

Or a home donned with so fine
of scents to fill your every need?

Whispers of my love for you.
Break these walls alone.

Tears of patience overcome
My will to be so strong.

Were I to be an angel
Would I take you in my wings?

Lain upon my breast
You could rest and love me eternally.

--Diva

IRREPLACEABLE

You are irreplaceable
as laughter
which you bring to me

and you are thee

You spread yourself
over my soul
I call it joy

I know you
to be yours
to feel the warmth
of a tear

brought to life
by a spirits kiss
and not hatred or fear

Never shall I find another
so with me
you must stay

For God knows
I cannot live
Without your bliss

Not one minute
Not one day.

--Diva

END

My life has rounded out

To one painful instance

After another

Each encounter bringing

Me further

Around the bend

It is like a ride

With unknown destination

Being so far off

There is no hope

And though I know

Death exists

I see no end.

--Diva

SHADOW

I've tried to maintain a shadow.
keeping something close to me
Within reach to hold for comfort
Within sight to feel and need.

I learned the sun moves quickly
Changing my shadows place
And if I'm not carefully tending
With the sun, my shadow fades.

Then I am left here....staring
Alone at the world so dark.
Wishing the sun would rise on me
So we wouldn't be apart.

--Diva

*Photo by ShaiLynn Draper*

Unfinished

I have such clarity
God continues to harp the same tune to my ears,
Upon my soul, against my head.
Amy...he sings, why won't you hear?
Amy...he speaks, why aren't you there?
Amy...he screams I no longer can help.
Amy...he whispers you're all but dead.

But Lord you must know I could not see
My Lord, nothing was clear
I searched and I reached, out

to nothingness

black with shades of gray.
I grasped and clawed so familiar to me
No forgiveness was found
No love to be.

The father shows me, it's clear where I stand
How I weigh
It's daily, unmistaken pain I bear
It is not a wish, a request I make
It seeps into my cells, chokes my soul uninvited
It makes home, a bed to lay.

Then the universe speaks, it booms
Echoes loud and clear
God gathers his strength, his passion and spear
Why my child do you not understand?
You were given no tools, no hope
nor born with peace.
You're not given the answers to this riddle of life
can't you learn
simple paradoxes, man.

I see my peers, the fellow mankind.
Some lost forever.  Changed.
Some peaced and those pained.
Reveled in light and moments
How is their destiny different from mine?
We feel the same flames
hear the same dogs
and now I am sure I hear voices they don't.

--Diva

DYING FATHER

My father's dying and I do not believe
we did our best, him and me.
I guess I figured if I didn't call
It would be the last time
we spoke at all.
But it isn't right to avoid the man, my father.
I have this choice I can live like
the days are mine
Or remember he hasn't left much time.
And no, he didn't do his best
He's just a man and now needs to rest.
He made our days so hard and long
He made us wait, he made us mourn.
So I find it hard to find in my heart
The peace to give before he parts.
I doubt myself and my regrets.
That there are none at all in what is left.
What kind of person could I be
To turn my heart and simply leave?
Well what more could I discern
I'm my fathers daughter
It's what I learned.

--Diva

HEAL

My heart must heal

Prepare for new

Undo the scars

Made by you

This tortured soul

Needs to be free

My endless pain

Must cease.

-- Diva

YOU WIN

You drive me through planes
unknown and unseen
Maneuver through pleasure
and ecstacy

Street signs are blurred
Not to be deterred
from our destination
our love.

Every touch shifts down
humming and low
no brakes needed
Just floor it, let's go.

Go into my realm
drive my reality insane
Drive past my heart
again and again.

You win.

--Diva

My fathers 46' Mercury

FATHER

Father....shallow hopes with empty shells
eventually slick from grainy hells
I amazed you can wash away
the pain, the hate
with forceful waves

Rather, left in the wet, under the sun
Open to nature to drown and burn
Yes, he abandoned his ship and crew
to blindly travel his lone canoe.

While he drunkedly navigates his storms alone
We blanket our life with shallow hope
A place to begin and grow.

--Diva

EACH BREATH

Each breath creates
possibilities

Blooming in the
abyss of night

I count each beat
My heart utters

Holding back
morning light

I guess at what
your eyes may say

And know it's right
where your hand may lay

Upon me
Along me
Inside.

--Diva

CLEANED

Amidst desolate hearts
Glimmers of light were found
Gleaming between the dark webs
That have dampened our passions
they shone.

As light on crystal waters
Dance and lively flow
The light created love
Little did we know
The empty spaces left
When webs removed
and clean.

The void of darkness recovered
In heart when the light
Found its way home.
The other abandoned
Once they were apart
Left for cobwebs to grow.

--Diva

SPIDERS

Silvery strands by moonlight
An art piece, simple, wild and true
His home no illusion or threatened
by my existence nor by you.
He chose my home to share
an honor I bear so I'll let him rest
mend his work and feed
as we all do.

He is hidden this chill morning.
For the daylight hours, he packed away.
To replace him the prey and singers fly
Stopping by their nests along the way.
I offer my trees. my porch, and stones
Again honored they chose this for home.
For their children to birth, to hatch
At seasons will
Such beauty, simple intracacies of life
God amazes me still.

The pines lay out before me
My pup and child in hand
No place to be, only to see
and hear whispers of earths land
Quakies speak, speak to me in the breeze
I will listen to your dance in
graceful ease.
And watch the clouds gather
like shoring sand.

Life shimmers on wing and leaf and rock
Initial sparkles of this earthly lot.
Every color of the rainbow shows
in autumn, spring, summer,and in winters snow.
How amazed and grateful I am to see
All that God has given me.

--Diva

ULTIMATE GIVE

Death grappled at my feet
begged and chatted
sweet nothings to me
I breathed in the feeling
Desperately wanted the meaning
It patiently cried to me
in supplication

I felt its sympathy

Exhaled its need.
The need to be a part of this.
I please, I dote, extreme to smote
for the cause, to fulfill
the desire, the will

Death wants to be complete.

The only way to close
that circle, my wheel
Is to sacrifice myself
and give, to give, in wholeness give
What has been dark secretley planned
designed, permanently mine.
Death.

--Diva

WISH

I heard her say

I saw the most beautiful woman today

Wish I were there.

--Diva

FAMILY

For all my family

That's come and gone

For all the rights

and all the wrongs

Together we're made

Our life complete

All connected by

The thread of life

Protected by angels wings.

--Diva