No apologies

I know the timing has never been right
My hearts ticking has been out of time
Out of rhythm, not in sync, creating broken hearts
this daunting melody on repeat.

So desperately I want to take the good
Savor the tiny drops of love until it's an ocean
I want only that sweetness in my soul
that has dried up on this desert floor.

Just those moments that inflate my space
Bring song to my silence, show me grace.
Engorge this vast empty shell I am.
Selfishly all I want isn't the good and the bad.

My story has been filled with sin and ugly pain
Of wrong and humiliation
Crushed in judgment, tethered in chains.
This is not a requirement of me just being.

No dark, muddying waters
A lovely calm, less concern of the world
leave blank the details outside those lines
of a relationship because that's what it becomes.

There is no wrong in wanting.
No shame in avoiding pain.
Yet an easy release of give and take
of all that is fresh as rain.

It can't be wrong to love.
To touch and feel, yes to feel.
My laugh should come to play
And I'd like to share this simple way.

This means leaning during trials
Holding the moments of life and each other as they come
No building new resentments or hurt
Loving each other aside from the world.

Oh this is enough.  Holding.
It is enough to kiss. To laugh.
Enough to indulge in preciousness
And make that what we have.


--Amy

SIENNA WALTZ

If I could dance with you forever
Holding your figure
To my breast.
Feeling your breath
Against me.
I know then,
To be enraptured by you,
My joy could be no less.

We could dance,
Under the azure sky.
In the desert wind.
With stars above your
Golden head.
God’s true beauty,
Held in my hands.

Our naked souls in sandaled feet.
Finding rhythm,
To express our being.
Each step a word,
Written in sienna sand.
And each sigh,
An emotion,
Between two angels

Borrowing God’s dance floor land.

--Diva

She

You must be her
The one not me
That she uses her fingertips on
She who hears you breathe.

She is the one
with her hands entwined in your hair
Lucky one that holds your waist
and dances in your affair.

You choosing now
Her shy smile and dark lashes closed
Sighing warmly in your ear
She, the lucky chosen one.

Or is she?

Quieted Storms

Riptides of shivering oneness
Encased within your warmth
Each wave heightened, lightened
Deeper under your restraint
This undeniable embrace
Hold my hands, my hips
Dear
Tighten my hair in your palm
God…
Please hold me within you
Under your strength I give no qualms
Hushed words melt my name
I arch with each murmur
Into you.
Seemingly open with such grace
Long since starved I pull you through
You give and take
So selfish
That your selflessness becomes
One with my greedy body
As I take and give
What I want
Waves are surrendered to
Breath is grasped
In mid-air
Words….
There is no language
Bare bodies are what I hear
Tangled we rest for moments
Quieted storms echo in my ears
While the thunder of
Your heartbeat
Keep wet showers always near
Until those waves rise on me
Slowly with you rolling over me
A soft stone
Under your hands
A solid stone though
You will be
There is no want or waiting
Patience….
Not tested in your hands
I would beg
If midstroke
You asked me
But God,
I’m thankful that you don’t.
Move me under
And over your aching
Fill me with that distant need
Release those wants and demons
Until I
Am all you see
Then when you move again
Finally…
From the pleasured tightened grasp
Revel in the sweetness made
In your embrace
Is what we have

--Diva

Tumbleweeds

My morning coffee in this side café
Brings comfort, lost comfort
Not completely lost on me
Russian thistle blown along
Collected on fence lines
By strong winds song
So many thorns and dried up sage
We can only burn them
Out of the way
To make room for comfort
Room for new life
Room to grow on this lonely highway.
I ride the fences and prune
I mend these busted sections
For I cannot mend you
And none of these are rot proof.
Rusted nails and cracking wood
Weathered in time, aged for good
Worn colors of rainy grain
Worn cold and dry some love remains
But each day is picked up by the wind
Slivers briskly taken and spin
Etching gouges in my fence
Deep lines in my life, the slow resent
Tumbleweeds rolling past
Sharp and dry
I haven’t seen one since
My broken fences let you
Roll with them.

--Diva

So Close

I wanted to be beautiful
I wanted to be loved
I wanted someone to smell my skin
And run their fingers through my hair.
I needed to be touched.
Inside, where no one had
Understood and admired
And held when I am sad.
I longed to see the view
From a pedestal of admiration.
And hear true whispers of lust.
I wanted to mean something
Enough worth fighting for.
Be important enough to keep safe.
Precious and sweet to another one.
My God, I came so close.

--Diva

STEEL RAILS

Railroads, silver thunder scream through
Whistles blow through town & you
Our pasts a part ride in as one
Like we’ve rumbled through this country
Chasing moon and sun.

No I didn’t know I’d been waiting
At a bustling station for you to come
Though I long held a ticket
I simply stood on platforms
While each steamer raged past me
Screaming on.

I happened to be reminiscing
Watching, feeling iron steeds go by
In my absent memories – my dear
Familiar spirit stopped…enticed
And I stood to greet you
Inhale your skin, embraced by pride.

You had travelled for long years
As long as my weather ticket
Held in my hands
Halting many stations
Creating songs upon the land.
You knew me, remembered from long ago
That I had blank tendencies
To wait on platforms alone

So you satisfied the yearning
The miles put in you
The long forgotten memories
The rails of iron seared through
By a mere glance you recall
The wanting, lusting lost in me

I’m dizzy from long thunders
& random faces that swiftly passed
Lightened, sickened by polluted fumes
Swirling in stagnant air above my bench
I did not realize my fresh air
Had long been sucked
With winds blown west.

You blew my breath back into me
A silver bullet screeching to a halt
Long enough to scoop me up
Onto a familiar journey
On rails, sparked hot
We ramble on.


--Diva

Irrational

You were never mine, though I dreamed
Through your goodbyes, the veils of change
Convinced me you were mine.
Like smoke you eluded me,
Mysterious, absent
Ever changing and fluid
Love is and isn’t.

Irrational, ever slow
My intentions creep to know
How you belonged
That I am alone
Slowly irrational

Deep breaths I inhale
To touch, to own such peril.
Love is and isn’t for sale.

Irrational, ever slow
My intentions creep to know
How you belonged
That I am alone
Slowly irrational

Like a fool I wait
Matches to strike
Creating sulphurous air
But it is and it isn’t hate.

Irrational, ever slow
My intentions creep to know
How you belonged
That I am alone
Slowly irrational

Are those tears each meant for me?
Don’t waste them dear
Love …. I’m not to keep.
You were never mine.

--Diva

My Solace

YOUR SOLACE
I saw your broken heart today
Weary it was in your eyes
So lost I’ve never seen you look
And lost here I simply lie.
I want to be your solace
Your refuge from this pain
Not to fix or change you, but remain.
You’re love, your life, your way.
For what you need to mend
Thought not so complex I cannot provide
I have this soft touch to offer
A barrier through these cold nights.
I want to be your solace
Your refuge from this pain
Not to fix or change you, but remain.
You’re love, your life, your way.
I reach into your every worry. I savor each of your woes
With no judgment passed or grudge held
I urge you to let me go.
So that I can be your solace
We’ll have refuge from such pain
Together we have triumphed…we remain.
A love, a life, a way.

--Diva

Not In Death

It is not in the death
I steep
But the care of the living,
those who need.
Each soul a heavy burden laid
Upon this earth.....light on the grave.
It is not peace upon one's face
when souls release that body's space

Just emptiness.
Void and still
No. No peace. Merely an empty shell.

No longer a worry or a care.
Their full vessel
empty shell
not here.

Quickly the heavy laden needs
Come from the gut of earthbound seeds.
Still sprouting, growing, speaking to life.
Needing and wanting their shells just right.

Can I not pass those outstretched arms?
Those palms turned up in sorrows song.
It is not to the grave they pull me to
Open
silent
mouths of death ensue.
The pulling, pushing
to the ground
are the souls kept here

I hear every sound.


Diva

By No Other Name

Warmth lapping across my face
Not furnace hot, now August late
The cool water, my limbs encased
Breezes blowing the leaves and brush

I have no memory of this peace
No constant highway fills my mind
I cannot recall this mental ease
Quiet has not been a friend of mine

This day of Indian Summer skies
unfamiliar , relaxed, my body is
No hidden agendas, half truth or lies
Simplicity still remains a twist

Among my quickened pattered heart
Laid upon the bare shelf in my brain
Tucked away, gathering dusty art
Is bliss, by no other name.

--Diva

Old Time

Looking through the back window
dads 46 Mercury
Summer sun and dandelions
dust clouds up my memories.

Faces stretch into years ago
Streaking across time like stars
Gravel spitting up in my life
pitt and scratch, dimpled scars.

Black and white fade away
I face the front head on
Shiny new and whimsical
life flies past me
that road is gone.

Open range, wind in my hair
the book is mine to write
windows clean and crystal clear
The rear view full of light.

-Diva

Fallen Snow

I fell apart. Inside my soul.
I felt my heart. Falling in my storm
Each piece a flake, of fallen snow.
I lost my soul in cedared woods.
It died away {such brittled root}.
Drifted and fell in falling snow.
My soul has died. In ropes I sigh
They will not hold...Pieces of soulful snow.

-- Diva
(Best when read under the influence while listening to Opus 23)

Spring

Spring breeze such as fresh linen
Skipping stones across my waters
As plateaus my years create
Spring breezes open country
My sandals key the gate.

--Diva

Walls

Tell me how the world looks
from behind your bars
Are you safe within your hell
Without any cares
Do you sleep so peaceful
In the warmth of cinder walls
Valuing the silence

--Diva

Tired

I have no words in me tonight
I'm sapped and drained
Not left a fight
my hours seem to blend in days
Existing in continuous haze
Tired....so tired today
So tired I have nothing to say.

-Diva

IF I COULD LOVE

If I could be a seed of life
planted with love and sown with intent
Yearn for tenderness and stretch for light
air flowing through soil to my lifes begin
I would sprout true brilliant green
so small and fragile at first unseen
Then I would search for wind and rain
I would praise my makers dream
God the colors I will be - embarrassingly
No shame will become me
If a seed of life I could be.

--Diva

LIKE THE RAIN

Her smile, simple gestures besot
Simple as a apple's red.
Temptress on ankles
beauty her lot

I lay await in bed

She comes to me
and like the rain
saturates me with lust again.

--Diva

8.28.97

You have loved parts of me
Ones I never knew
I began to see those parts
in the same light
of which I adore you.

--Diva

NONE SHOULD LOVE

No one should love me
I'll venom them away
To save me from their cruelty
That eventually they lay.

Then I won't have to live
Under hurt and pain
I can try to salvage
That which keeps me sane.

Eventually they tell me
I don't need you no more.
I could never love you
I don't want a whore

They leave me tired and bloody
Fom the battle in my heart
A void the size of oceans
keeping me apart.

With no guilt ~ the bitches
go and lead their merry life
God sent me down to earth
and mocks the normal wife.

--Diva

DIFFERENT PACKAGES

You seem disgusted to look at me
From all those year past.

Did you not learn love comes
In many packages and wraps?

Not perfect I know,
But you chose me still

I will work on it today
So that you can view me beautiful.

--Diva

FOLDED HANDS

Sometimes I can still feel
How you once loved me
I mourn and miss it
My heart empties.

I was not to be your one.
Or theirs, or his, or hers.
Still where I turn on this plane
The hand I hold's my own.

I chose not to begin again
I know my soul's alone.

--Diva

SELF TORTURE

I am tortured
by mistakes and past
Always following
where I never intend to lead
I'm haunted by them.

I don't run.
I try to hide.
Shelter myself from the world.
Relive each memory
A self endowed sword.

--Diva

(From back in the day)

You are irreplaceable
....as laughter
which you bring to me

and "you" are thee

You spread yourself
over my soul

I call it joy

to know you, to be yours
To feel the warmth

of a tear

Brought to life by a spirits kiss
and not hatred or fear

never shall I find another

So with me you must stay
For God knows I cannot live

without your bliss

Not one minute
not one day

--Diva

MY CUP

I keep coming back for more

You intoxicate my blood

Struck by a deep and sharp

Sword, then dripping, lustfully

Filling my cup.

This unquenchable thirst

Will you feed, will you pour

Fill me sweet love

Draw me to heavens door

Where I knock and knock

With no answer but care

Not to allow a droplet

To fall from the air

I cannot waste your vialed gift

I will not share, none shall sup

From this gauntlet, this porcelain

Filled by you my precious cup

Flow and stream my hearts

Wounds leave me weak

Dizzy in rare intoxicating relief

My fall will not cease

My need will not leave

Open your faucet of passion

To me and my empty barrels

I have prepared, I need.

Resembling plucked flowers

Weeping sweet scent

This sword is pulled

Apart from my bone and my flesh

The pain is immense but worth every nerve

What I drink of your love

While I die in your curves

My head in your arms

My lips brought to the rim

Of insanity this fiery thirst

it will win.

Again I knock and wait for passage

For I no longer have

My wet and wise adage

It is all I can leave

On this empty plot

This earth will carry away

My used and void cup.

--Diva

IMPRESSIONABLE

Impressionable and young
my tender girl.
So young and fragile
In this big world.
The oyster is herself
Building a string of pearls

Her joys, her pains
more than what she's felt
Rewards and peace
She has still to shell.

My protection has hidden
not fully disappated
for she has her own will
She's waited years, elated.

--Diva

BLUE LOVE

Her love is the color blue
She seeps in oceans of crystal
Sapphires on the horizon
of her bleeding blue heart.
Her love is the deepest blue.

Her denim pockets hold her hands
with cold blue fingertips
that will trace the outline of my face
Her blue eyes of the sweetest sky
delving into my sad green.
Her love....true blue.

She says her love is the color blue
Sirens screaming into the darkest of nights
a navy pinstriped suit that fits her just right
in the blue lights of the corner neon
reflected in street signs.

Such a blue love ornamenting this world
a scarf of passionate love
wrapped through the galaxies
of powder blue infinite light
Her blue love is entirely right

Her love - blue bonnets
lining white fences
in town upon red white and blue flags
soaring in the wind.
She loves in shades of all blue.

She loves me with musical blues
Notes that serenade my blue heart
that love matches my blue tears
streaming love rivers down my face

Cobalt blue reflects her love
diamonds roughed like peppermints
cool ice steaming in sunlight rays
She will color me blue in this box
pretty boxes quilted never to fade away.

--Diva

VULNERABLE

I trust you'll never
turn me away
unsatisfied , empty
wandering astray

My broken heart does
not come from you.
Not your words or rejection
You are only joyful pursuit

My belief, perhaps naive
Innocent, but true
is that you love
every morsel of me
and wish to savor me too.

Here I lie open and waiting
for you.
Please don't leave me
wanting, yearning
desperate.
Let chivalry be new.

You, YOU bring me peace
my soul can breathe
when I am loved by you.

So fucking pure
Do I dare return
this love you give
this sweet sincere.

Unselfish, complete
when you are in me
In my eyes, in my loins
Deep into the ghost you see.

Tenderly, savagely take me
drink in me
touch the core of my being.

I'l be yours, entirely
Suspended moments in time
No distraction from you
No distraction from me.

A complete pair, one love
Forever tied..tender strings
to touch and tie
around loves seed.

--Diva

CHERUB EXPRESSIONS

If angels could see me now
How disappointed would they be
That the roads I choose
have led me astray
but simultaneously
created me.

Cherub frowns and eternal
brilliance dimmed
by my ignorance and grim
methods of love.

--Diva

PEACEFUL DAUGHTERS

We've all asked our mothers
From where does the sadness come?
Regardless of her answers
We hesitently march on.

Our mothers cannot answer
Why there's broken hearts and hands
We have no fear in asking
Still we are blind to understand.

It seems we're constantly searching
For the inhale to sync our ex
We dream and believe in the existence
That our lashes close to view what's next.

Such hope is choking us daughters.
Far fetched dreams tangle in our minds.
We lose our focus and independence
Our souls fill with sick and crime.

Mere peace the world has begged for
I ask we start with one.
To have a moments silence
In my head....I will have won.

I will send my weapons forward
with my daughter, but no key.
And even if I offer or she asks
I cannot bring even her some peace.

--Diva

WIND BURNED

There are times when the sky
is on fire

red and dark

When I hear
techno verse

as I drive

west

Walking out
onto the steps
of my home

into the wind

as if I stepped onto planet none.

Nothing familiar

 but your

absent arms.

--Diva

BRIEF ENCOUNTER

She innocently touched my thigh
with a grin on her face she couldn't deny
My quaking knees gave me away
Upon my skin she didn't stay.
Waltzed right out of the room
As sweat beaded down my bloom
then I unleashed a mild shake
She caused the earth, yes my heart,
to shake.

--Diva

LOST

Lost

In the lilies,

In the fields

Where I let my heart run

Free of will

I lost my soul

I lost my mind.

The sun passed quickly.

I lost time.
 
--Diva

VELVET BLANKET

I laid with rose petals on my lips.

Thick, velvet red on each lid.

Sweetness covered my chest.

Each breath,

Causing a petal to flutter.

Gently tickle my skin.

Feeling as though

You were on me.

My navel, my nipple

And chin.

I slept in a bed of roses.

Brought to me

Through your love,

The same as when you sleep

Next to me.

My tender, lovely bud.

--Diva

OLD OAK

Can you bear my burden old oak
as I sit in your shade and pray?
Will this iron bench support my worries
as they grow throughout the day?
The wind feels it may sweep me
down the road to oblivion.
Can you bear my burden old oak
as I search my depths within?

Slowly I uncover and peel my bark
My history and maze.
I'm not as strong as you are
I'm lost in the foggy haze.
How do you stand and weather all?
Day in and out so straight.

You stretch across the acreage
The universe and sky
You birth each spring a new life
and in fall your children die.
Large as life you continue
Come back stronger and so right.

I lay my burdens on your root
My blood seeps into your ground
If I cannot keep my life alive
I donate it to your own.

--Diva

YEARS

When I remember life
Is it mine?

Really?

How did those years elude me?
I watched intently
Though I did not see

them

flutter by

away

and gone.

--Diva

POISON

She said, "I've come from afar to love you"

Our lies that were told saved none from truth

But the damage is done and now here we are

yes the damage is done and the damage is ours.



In time you will see I'll be yours, you'll be mine.

We'll be family, strong and dedicated we'll shine

and I followed as I do, so often I'm lost

whether lead or follow, so high is my cost.



She said, "we'll make a life, here or there"

We continued to travel the maps while we share.

I'll back you up to extreme; in fact I'll own you

I'm sure that's what she means.



I invited her in, the poison and all.

The excitement, the lure, such a sultry call.

I ignored my real life, lost my real wife

sold my soul for a ticket destined to hell.



She asked, "will you go back, would she even want you"?

A sigh of relief and set...determined when I said, quietly, no.

Weak and reliant a vulnerable spirit

In darkness I stewed. Alone, still, and used.



The new and hopeful promises faded away

But I clung to the hope of will you marry me.

What would I say, in this bed that I made?

My future based on such a mistake.



With that she went home, miles and miles away.

Where her life and her new girl await.

I still had the plan fresh on my tongue.

Unbeknownst to me, I thought I was the one.



Wreckers never stay; it's the nature of the beast.

Poison leaves its mark, through each ring of the tree.

My life unraveled in an instant before my eyes

A vault was opened, the damn broke,

light came to every fucking lie.



The secrets I kept the patterns that bled.

Darkness was obscenely filling my head.

So stupid and blindly I followed this spawn

Ignorant, hurt, a fool when she had gone.



I grappled for a footing, grasping at straws

Can I learn from what I lived, what I saw?

Dismiss her last words, blatantly real

"People fall out of love every day, no big deal"



I mean so little, I stand for nothing.

The universe is now empty - all from a fling.

In this mess I cannot salvage or find

Something to hold onto, not one thing.



Once again, I sit rocking, sobbing on the floor.

Bleeding from the sharp edges of a piece of my heart.

God does not make a glue for this heart.

Mine which imploded in despair.

High velocity torched it black, sharp and bare.



It would not be fair to reach out again

not to inflict this (me), to another one

Damaged and empty I've nothing to sell

I couldn't bear to inflict this upon another soul



What is to become of me on my cross?

Ridiculed and naked, spiritually lost?

I will not find myself in another’s eyes.

I may never find myself, I may never try.



--Diva

YOU ASKED

It's more than all the time we've lost
those years we parted ways.
It's how deep the heart and holes got
Every separated day.

That I missed the sighs you breathed
for the Gods and skies relief.
And was not there to hear the
echoed tears in the rains release?

Much  more than yearning passion
Never there to fill the void.
As parched I roamed the lands
Without your liquid voice.

It's moments not recoverable for both
our hearts.... they are gone.
Those years of life we lived apart
choices of love, right or wrong.

Those became our realities
Still empty pieces remain.
Once filled by our delicacies
Now hinder many pains.

Not all is lost, thrown to the wind.
Your written word, I heard.
My small moments held to my heart
I dare not ask for more.

--Diva

REMINISCENT

I’m frigid cold

 in a bed of snow

Sheets

Alone.

Awake to glimpse

 there’s morning light

Immerse my face into a pillow

Of ease.

My childs tiny body slips in

From the cold.

Wraps her body

 around mine

In sleep.

For this we are never too old.

Her hair lays upon my shoulder

And the

Sweetest breath touches my neck

Reminding me

How she came to be

A fragile gift

My heart would need.

I can only hope I will feel this breath

Again.

Throughout my years

And tormented life

It will be my faith

And grace.

My comforting rhythm

Until mine ceases

And I die.

 
-- Diva

NEEDLE AND THREAD

Your broken heart needs mending

I’ll cradle you in the shadowed silhouettes

Of those who mock your pain.

--Diva

THE OPEN ROOM

I create my solace room


Unbeknownst to me

Seal myself in a lonely tomb

With walls as high as I can see

I feel myself enclosed and small

Although I want to desperately be free

I don’t know how to step out the door

Or walk away from this prison

That protects me.

I’m frightened and I’m lost

I have no reason in this day

It is all I have been taught

So far fear’s been my only way

I see outside my walls

Is beauty beyond my words?

It seems so far from my reach

It seems a different world

The beauty encompasses joy

And peace then love I feel.

I watched it for the longest time

From my walls

Not believing it was real.

Then without my knowledge

It crept into my room

The bliss I admired from afar

Decorated the walls of my tomb


I never gave permission

I didn’t know it was even there

Until I had the roof blown off

And sat with awe in my stare

The light brought into my life

I had only admired, never taste

But God I wish I could fill my desire

And savor every day

--Diva

ORBITING

The earth will still for your breath

The world could explode with a soft

touch of your lips

My heart stops with each sigh you

give

The moon will circle

Eternally

That you live.

-Diva

EXHAUSTED

My podiatrist would chastise me

If I had one to love my feet.

The chiropractor would scorn my acts

After he adjusted my aching back.

My sweet dermatologist would dismay

at the wrinkles created on my face.

The optrician nodded his head in shame

telling me to pick out my new frames.

My trusted beautician shook her head in disgust

at my roots and my gray that grows out each month.

I cannot even repeat what the gynocologist said

While I lay in his stirrups, his makeshift bed.

So I may need to consult a plastic surgeon soon.

To creat the new me worthy to swoon.

I'm sagging and drooping from north to south

There's cussing and cursing loud from my mouth.

Aging comes graceful...yah graceful my ass

Speaking of which I wince when I look back.

It's not for sissies, this act of ancient.

Indeed my body is very well spent.

-Diva

TAKER

I am a taker in life, that's me.
I take from others, endlessly.
Shameful and brazen I behave
Through time and life, I take.

I take the passion, often sought.
I take the pleasures, being caught.
Take the touch given me.
Take the kisses, take the free.

I take from family and from friends.
I take beginnings and I take ends.
I need this take to survive.
I breathe this take to be alive.

I'll take your smile right to my face.
I take your words with lighted grace.
I take your glances to my heart.
I take the pain of us apart.

I'm greedy...I take what I need.
I take compassion, I take the lead.
I'll take your generosity each time.
I'll take advice like nurtured wine.

I take the sun and light and air.
I take the stones and soil here.
I take this earth that's given me
I take my opportunity.

I take the comfort, I take the ease.
I take the quiet and the peace.
I take the gifts and bobbles, cute.
I take all the trinkets and the loot.

I'll take your ear to ease my grief
I'll take your heart for my relief.
I'll take your hand to hold in mine.
I'll take your lips to my divine.

I take assumptions and license.
I take common and regrets.
I take the comforts of your home.
I take you as my own.

I take your advice, right or wrong.
I take the risk in the storm.
I take abuse, I take each strike.
I take victories, I take each fight.

I take your breath and take your thought.
I take your time, take the whole clock.
I take my chances and take some dares.
I take your graciousness and cares.

Yes I was born a taker first.
I take from all like hungry thirst.
I take from light to dark of day.
I take to often get my way.

I'll take your whispers, every word
I'll take my blessings from the Lord.
I'll take your graciousness with pride
I'll take your truths and your lies.

I take the tears, the sting
I take the fear of losing
I take criticisms face
I take the pennies for the race

I take the notion and believe
There are born two different seeds.
The takers and the givers both
I take in life, I take the most.

--Diva

EMPTY LOT

There is not room
in this head
for space
nor thought

unless erased memories

purchase lot

Has the time come
to heal, forget
this mess

my dismal

twisted head

I use to have
drawn in my mind
concrete plans

not sands to find.

Time.  My journey.
my fingers

lost

nothing to count
my balance

off

My reins not loosened
never abused
my missing lead rope

never used.

Dreams are not
to be lasso'd in

not harnessed

nor broken

nor seen.

--Diva

OCEAN

Light and bubbly

fingertips of God

Roll to me, draw me

lull in my needs

from deep.



He feathers along

the fringes of me.

his - "I am" and 'I' ....only me.

He recedes.



Vast, deep, his arms - (he)

stretch and grow.

I shrink back in body

I swell toward him

in soul.



Apprehensive, I breathe

Humbled by such thrum.

Exhaling my need, desire to delve

freedom of waves lap my ankles.



Enticing by volume

Sounds larger than space

I'm spoken to and around

teetering foamy cold lace.



It is I who hesitates

I who recedes.

Until I give to him

my want and my need.



I answer his beckon

his thunderous call.

allow him to cover me

without fear from his swell.



I hear echoes, feel grains

no needs with faith

My memory is clear

what he gave and

what he takes.



I'm lured and enticed

In the wonder....the spell

I am awed by expanse

the sky and the sail.



Coming and flowing, ebbing

endless toil.

Twirling earth and rock

living creatures

solid shell.



I wait for the rise

level with moonlight

after sun has set

beyond the twilight.



It is dark, so black

Ominous...constant backlash

no rest for this weary

ocean of vast.



Roll and draw

through hours of night

grasp my heart

to the gravity of pull

with delight.



Take me out

into the sea

drown my troubles

my faults,

drown me.



For daybreak will come

glowing the sky

gathering the whisked

churning of high.



Back to the land

where he gently places me

Back to the hard

stark reality.



I will lay wet

shaking naked on sand.

I will sob senseless

grasping for his

liquid hand.



Watching him roll

sleeking away.

Into the horizon his tendrils floating

past bay.



I weep exhausted

gaze at the sky.

I wish I was with my father

No strength for pride.



The horizon is empty

he's cast me away

not willing to take me

simply tease my toes

with foam lace.



(unfinished)

--Diva