No apologies

I know the timing has never been right
My hearts ticking has been out of time
Out of rhythm, not in sync, creating broken hearts
this daunting melody on repeat.

So desperately I want to take the good
Savor the tiny drops of love until it's an ocean
I want only that sweetness in my soul
that has dried up on this desert floor.

Just those moments that inflate my space
Bring song to my silence, show me grace.
Engorge this vast empty shell I am.
Selfishly all I want isn't the good and the bad.

My story has been filled with sin and ugly pain
Of wrong and humiliation
Crushed in judgment, tethered in chains.
This is not a requirement of me just being.

No dark, muddying waters
A lovely calm, less concern of the world
leave blank the details outside those lines
of a relationship because that's what it becomes.

There is no wrong in wanting.
No shame in avoiding pain.
Yet an easy release of give and take
of all that is fresh as rain.

It can't be wrong to love.
To touch and feel, yes to feel.
My laugh should come to play
And I'd like to share this simple way.

This means leaning during trials
Holding the moments of life and each other as they come
No building new resentments or hurt
Loving each other aside from the world.

Oh this is enough.  Holding.
It is enough to kiss. To laugh.
Enough to indulge in preciousness
And make that what we have.


--Amy