AN ANGELS HEART

I find it hard to trust you.
I find it hard to see your heart.
And every day that passes.
Your kisses rip me apart.
I sink into your eyes. I shiver at your voice.
Don’t you know my heart of stone, needs to have a choice.

So broken down and beaten. An angel’s heart may lay.
I die another morning as the world bleeds another day.

I’m sure my life is written
in a script of tears.
Before I ever got here,
before I lived my years.
So scared that I am to love.
I’ve easily locked away
the chance to feel. It’s no longer real.
I only take what I can take.
So your eyes may take me in.
Your voice wraps around my mind.
As I say I love you dear, the loneliness is mine.

So broken down and beaten. An angel’s heart may lay.
I die another morning as the world bleeds another day.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

SIENNA WALTZ

If I could dance with you forever
Holding your figure
To my breast.
Feeling your breath
Against me.
I know then,
To be enraptured by you,
My joy could be no less.

We could dance,
Under the azure sky.
In the desert wind.
With stars above your
Golden head.
God’s true beauty,
Held in my hands.

Our naked souls in sandaled feet.
Finding rhythm,
To express our being.
Each step a word,
Written in sienna sand.
And each sigh,
An emotion,
Between two angels
Borrowing God’s dance floor land.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

MORNING

Sunday
I woke up
in love
and loved.

My heart rose
with the sun
with my breath.

My spirit annointed
a peaceful soul
to my chagrin
I know.

When was the sky
so blue? Ahhh....
It wasn't
before you.

Expanse above me
was a place to be seen.
Now expanse surrounds
me.
Limitless, infinite,
blessing.

--Diva

ALL WAS WELL

What did I hear
from this inner voice
Which speaks to me
in tongues of you.
Soft whispers within
my head.
Swirling about inescapable.
Laid to my bed.
Around you.

I must not have heard
this inner voice
Since your pounding heart
flooded my ears
reddened my face
block the world
from me.

Then from the shadows
of my mind
I hear the softest inner voice
Do you feel safe?
Do you feel at all?
Her in this space
Do you keep up the wall?

I strain in silence
to understand
my inner voice in soft command
Do you feel trusted
and adored?
Have you felt any of this before?

Then quiet...my mind became
Calm - my emotions lain.
No answer was needed.
Rhetoric I knew.
All was well, here with you.

--Diva

LASHINGS

She passed through my life when she needed. Took over my heart, which she seeded,

………………….with love.

My tongue lashed out as she walked away, to sting her and burn her, wrap around her, make her stay.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

GASP

You stopped my breath
I’m still searching for.
With your voice and laughter
In my thoughts I hear.
Imagine they are intertwined,
Relentlessly giving to each other
What they couldn’t find,
Until now.

--Diva
as published in " A Diva's Forte " (Lulu Publishing)

A LEAF

A leaf fell from the tree at dawn
The one in my front yard.
I’m guessing it was exhausted
Months of hanging to it’s branch
Clinging to life, up so far.
Treading rain at times felt good,
Winds that raped it’s friends.
That leaf viewed habits of nature,
Blossoms and flowers through spring,
In it’s youth, fresh and small.
Feeling autumn come to make an end.
Had it been a good long year?
Enough that now a release would bring a fall.
To end a trees fullness and life
End a season of color in the world.
I watched it descend in surrender
No wind forced it’s end.
This huge red leaf just let go and fell down
I was sure this was the final stage.
For it had survived all it need.
A year and cycle for a leaf.

Then a child, small and fragile,
Walked across my front lawn
I do not know if she saw this leaf fall
But she knelt down with timid hands
And grasped that same one.
In her palm, that leaf sat still.
She gazed at it with perfection.
And I saw that in her few years of discovery
She had seen few things as beautiful.
Cupped in the hollow of her hands,
The leaf was carried to a book.
The first bible she had ever owned.
Placed in pink thin paper,
She pressed this leaf
Somewhere in the pages of John.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

NEVER MINE

You were never mine.
Though I dreamed
Through your goodbyes
The veils of change
Convinced me
You were mine.

Irrational, ever slow.
My intentions
Crept to know
How you belonged
that I'm alone.
Slowly irrational.

Are those tears
Each meant for me
Don't waste them
love, I'm not to keep
You were never mine.

--Diva

MY EYES

Do you see my eyes?

My adoration...

My truth.

Do you look into my soul?

For my love...

But find the ruins?

Do you climb past theses mounds?

To meet me.

On higher ground.

This is where I wait

For you.

Patiently wait...

To look into your eyes.

Speak volumes

In silent dances

Until we meet

Our eyes.

And climax.

--Diva

IS & ISN'T

Like smoke, it eludes me
mysterious, absent
ever changing and fluid
love is and it isn't.

Deep breathes I inhale
to touch, own
such peril
love is and isn't for sale.

Like a fool I wait
matches to strike
create sulphurous air
but it is and it isn't hate.

--Diva

I FORGOT

I forgot who I am
I don’t know for how long.
But I remember now.
I cannot bury my strength
My poverty, or my pride.
Although I tend to keep
My shame and regrets inside.
I shaln’t deny I’m beautiful
But my intolerance may outweigh,
The gifts that God has given
Me along the way.
I believe as people
Our greatest gifts we possess
Are forgiveness and honesty.
I hadn’t forgotten this.
The eyes they hold the soul.
At times, mine speaks to me.
But listen closely
for your voice cannot speak
The silence in your dreams.

I hadn’t forgot to dream
Although they were dismissed.
And in remembering how to laugh,
The pain it wasn’t missed.
I forgot myself. My suspicions,
I let them slide. They went with my
Coldness and walls behind which I’d hide.
In forgetting who I am
I sure found many things.
I found that I can care
And even with my iron heart
I was given wings.

Being a mother never left me
And what did I think of
All those nights?
When I no longer had the lust for life
Nor did I want to die.
But now that I remember,
Precisely who I am.
I wish to also not forget,
Precisely who I found.

-Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

A CHILD

As a child
I lay upon the earth
With my eyes stretched to the sky.
With child filled tendencies
Such forms are possessed
Become mine
And my dreams
They are constructed in that sky.

Being a child
I sprawled out in the grass.
Squinting upon a tiny town.
I scrutinized the more of the world
The dew on plants
And soil within life.
Little miracles.
Out of reach from me then
But not from the world to harm.

I was a child
Which child should not be
Protected?
The beauty around
Was all I should see?
And the sky with the clouds and
Grass with the dew
And plant and miracles was what
I should see.

A woman I am
Now I look to the sky
I also see depth to the moon.
I dream into futures and worlds far away
As a woman,
I see green, I feel cold mist of morn.
I touch creatures and make miracles of life.
But now as a woman I can also see
Unprotected actions, fear…
More.
And the world is torn.

--Diva
as published in "A Divas Child" (Lulu Publishing)

EPITAPH

My life entangles another heart
For brief moments
Mere seconds in time.
By my years.
I don’t want to be a fleeting glance
Of fountain grass
Swaying in the wind
A memory in black and white
Of a day gone by
Of carousels
I served so well and complete
The need of me erases away
With powdered chalk on my outline
My epitaph will say
“So many lives she loved and stole
The hearts mended and tempers calmed
She took for herself not a bit of selfish love
home.”
--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Child" (Lulu Publishing)

PROMISE

I heard your promise in your eyes
long before you spoke to me.
I knew your love would have to fly
out in the world with my tears so free.
But did you have to damn my soul
ruining me for any other love.
Give me a glimpse of the fantasy.
Fulfill my heart, then leave……just leave.

Please tell me you can love me, in the broken sunlight of lonely morning. As I lay and dream your name, come back to me and love again. You promised. Your eyes promised me.

You led my heart to believe.
True love was mine, all mine to keep.
I breathed your breath and danced your step. This world in my hands, you on your knee. God, I want to be, I want to be – yours.

Please tell me you can love me, in the broken sunlight of lonely morning. As I lay and dream your name, come back to me and love again. You promised. Your eyes promised me.

Yes, you can love me,
between your ego and your charm.
I expect you to be the love,
you vowed once in my arms.
After coffee, after noon, can you still feel my love for you?
It didn’t die when you grew wings.
I waited for you to bring my mended heart back to me.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

BEFORE

When you were children
It was my life
to be enveloped with you
Our ties were strong
and tightly bound.
No mothers love as true.

Betrayal severed
untied the knot
We knit for years
The time we bought
With a thousand tears
ago.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

REALITY

Have I created your reality
Full of navy skies and
turquoise seas?

Glitter strewn beaches
graced perpetuity

Whatever your reality
May be...
Include in it,
Me.

-Diva

TUMBLING

Tumbled into cockelshells
Stumbling down the stairs to hell.
Snowy white caps of heavenly bliss.
Melting so quickly, I slip, I slip.
Not a chance to get my footing
My shell protects me
From the mysteries.
Secrets of light, secrets of dark
Which I no longer can tell apart.
I see the beauty fade away.
All I took for granted
Not welcome to stay
On God's Earth.

-- Diva

SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN

Someone laughed,
Heard across the sky
The stars shook
Then wept
The universes eye.
Galaxies echoed
They laughed and laughed
Within earshot of God
Who laughed back.

--Diva
As published in "A Divas Child" (Lulu Publishing)

IS IT I?

Is it I who lays here in this home I create?
Is it I who structures
these children’s lives of debate?
Am I who reads Gods words each night?
I who respects and fears his might?

Is it I who sees the pink past the clouds?
And wonder
if chariots truly ride among stars?
Is it I, that searches for the meaning of life?
Who wonders if she’ll be a suitable wife?

Is it I that stares into the mirror?
Deeper at the eyes, that question if I’m here?
Who am I that collects
earthly trinkets and sorts?
And hangs them on her walls
Like a fine fitting coat.

Ahhh --- am I the one
who feels the pleasure of a kiss
And unmentionables, the traces of feathers?
Is it I who upholds the choice we all have
To be free and to love and decline the bad?

Is it I who could wander aimlessly lost
In open fields, in the dark, judging the cost?
Looking for answers and searching the souls
Then turning back finally to say,
I don’t know.

If not I, then who, was created for this.
If not I, who’d make choices and laugh while they live?

Could be I who wanders
the flower lain fields.
Pretending to be lost,
soaking in all that heals.
I may be the one, God speaks to in dreams,
Could be……….”I” could be
Anything, everything.

If not I, then who would breathe in the air,
Not just to breathe, but experience it clear.
Who else will ask questions and learn
every day
Or thank God for poorness
and reap what it pays.

If I could take lead of the chariots in skies,
And believe in my spirit, to not watch it die.
Then I’m sure it could be me, as well as you.
Could feel light and love
And be truth.

--Diva
from "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu publishing)

FAITHLESS

I have lost my way
My God used to be a breath,
A tear away,
Now the ocean falling
From my eyes
Would not be enough
For me to reach him.

--Diva
from "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu publishing)

HIDDEN

Some may say I've lost my mind
but little do they know
how simple and wise am I
I hid it in my soul.

--Diva

VOID

Having something ripped
from me.

Against my will.

Gives my black heart
a whole new view.

A new fascade
I won't reveal.

I believed
I was norm to this.

All gone from me
An empty wish.

Not one thing sacred.
Nor is it safe.

In my keep
it's sure to break.

--Diva

HARD LANDING

You let me go.
Was there no fight
Left in you?

Self absorbed, no will
To call
Out to me
One word?
Stay.
Please.
Wait.

Not of childish games
Or extended pain.
Just a stitch of passion.
Want.
Desire.
Me.

Broken and aimless
I needed a room
To fall into - to land.
Your home.
Your heart.
Your hand.

--Diva

Child

You are always a part of me
You come from my body, my hopes
And my soul
Reaching up and out toward the world
Toward all you do not know

Enfeeble minds
Collective thoughts
Plan for success
With forget me knots
A day is set aside for you
To leap in the world
With both feet grounded
Upon departure I’ll hold in my hand
The apron strings
That kept you safe on land
As they stretch and fray
I know a shiny blade
Must cut them free
Stronger still are my
Strings of will
Attached to my heart –
And strong
They play our song
Tilted mom
Sing