EMPTY LOT

There is not room
in this head
for space
nor thought

unless erased memories

purchase lot

Has the time come
to heal, forget
this mess

my dismal

twisted head

I use to have
drawn in my mind
concrete plans

not sands to find.

Time.  My journey.
my fingers

lost

nothing to count
my balance

off

My reins not loosened
never abused
my missing lead rope

never used.

Dreams are not
to be lasso'd in

not harnessed

nor broken

nor seen.

--Diva

OCEAN

Light and bubbly

fingertips of God

Roll to me, draw me

lull in my needs

from deep.



He feathers along

the fringes of me.

his - "I am" and 'I' ....only me.

He recedes.



Vast, deep, his arms - (he)

stretch and grow.

I shrink back in body

I swell toward him

in soul.



Apprehensive, I breathe

Humbled by such thrum.

Exhaling my need, desire to delve

freedom of waves lap my ankles.



Enticing by volume

Sounds larger than space

I'm spoken to and around

teetering foamy cold lace.



It is I who hesitates

I who recedes.

Until I give to him

my want and my need.



I answer his beckon

his thunderous call.

allow him to cover me

without fear from his swell.



I hear echoes, feel grains

no needs with faith

My memory is clear

what he gave and

what he takes.



I'm lured and enticed

In the wonder....the spell

I am awed by expanse

the sky and the sail.



Coming and flowing, ebbing

endless toil.

Twirling earth and rock

living creatures

solid shell.



I wait for the rise

level with moonlight

after sun has set

beyond the twilight.



It is dark, so black

Ominous...constant backlash

no rest for this weary

ocean of vast.



Roll and draw

through hours of night

grasp my heart

to the gravity of pull

with delight.



Take me out

into the sea

drown my troubles

my faults,

drown me.



For daybreak will come

glowing the sky

gathering the whisked

churning of high.



Back to the land

where he gently places me

Back to the hard

stark reality.



I will lay wet

shaking naked on sand.

I will sob senseless

grasping for his

liquid hand.



Watching him roll

sleeking away.

Into the horizon his tendrils floating

past bay.



I weep exhausted

gaze at the sky.

I wish I was with my father

No strength for pride.



The horizon is empty

he's cast me away

not willing to take me

simply tease my toes

with foam lace.



(unfinished)

--Diva

IT IS YOU

Wish I knew

How to give

like you.

The most unselfish

Being I’ve known.

Such a complete love

A myth to me.

You showed up

Perhaps a dream.


But then you held me.

You kissed my mouth.

And slept with me

And showed me soft.

You wanted me

And took me too.

I was in disbelief

I needed you.


Your love grew strong.

Didn’t fade away.

You didn’t leave,

I didn’t make you stay.

You chose to love me

And open your soul.

You accepted me,

As a whole.


Each day now, I feel you more.

In my heart and life.

Naked in your eyes,

Standing as an unprotected soul.

I learn to trust so naturally,

Which is something I don’t know.


Where have you led me,

My dear wife.

With your fingertips and voice.

That I would know desire and want,

And it is not a choice.

It is destiny,

It is love,

It is you.

--Diva

WISE

Some may say I've lost my mind

But little do they know

How simple and wise am I

I hid it in my soul.

--Diva
(One of my favorites)

DRAW ME IN

I saw the world end

in a dream

God how real

to hear the scream


Scream for me to save them

Scream for me to bend

In my weakness take them

Upon my back and wing


Fly them to the heavens

Far away from the pain

Where quiet and peace are reeking

And they no longer scream

At me.


Close to death we seem

Without appreciating the dream.

Life….we named it long ago.


A glimpse, a gasp, less than a moment, past.

Entwined in a thought surreal and true.

Once was flesh and broadened horizons

That have ends we never knew


Anchored ourselves to real and pain

Time and evil and rain

Exist.


Drew us in to live here for now

Foreigners on this land.
 
--Diva

DARE

I’ve watched an eagle

Dare a sienna sky

At the edge of steep cliffs

I’d stand, couldn’t fly.

-Diva (as published in "A Diva's Forte", Lulu Publishing)

SLOW FALL

It was a rain shower of frosted silhouettes.

Crisp autumn piling on the ground.

As the branches bled, deflowered

Were bare and silent by sundown.
 
--Diva

THIN

Where are you
While my life changes?
Teetering from the living and dead
Walking the brink of unknown
Where are you in this darkness
my home.

I cannot see you
nor can I hear
In this dismal expanse of disappear.
I remember though, your taste
your smell.
This is all I have, here in
My hell.

I hold your lightest touch
In my vaulted mind
I hope it is safe there
and doesn't fade
Like the rest of my life.

Parchment thin my skin becomes
Fragile from lack of a touch
As if time peels back layers
Leaving more exposed
My tender nerves
My vacant soul.

Days reap me and leave me raw
Caresses only felt in my illusionistic mind.
If real, would salt my freshest wounds
Poured lemon and crushed rind.

Reverted back to virginal
My thin ivory skin
is becoming transparent after all
Waiting to be broken.

TOMBSTONE

Ageless, timeless, you have been
In the ground no longer seen
For but a stone the sun gleans on
With words and letters written upon
Some say names and dates I found
Not many claim much profound
Struggling to remain unwretched from overgrowth
Surviving storms and seasons both
Decades, centuries later, some may
Walk upon your ancient decay
A name unknown to most is seen
Tho in your day it meant everything.

--Diva

TOPPER

How does one define
strength, pride and refine?
Where do you start
where do you end
when you try to define
balance and sound?
Beauty beyond passionate words
Placed in her life,
Brought to her world.
The equinely mazaratti exists
in the paint Stallion of hers
The genuine gift.
His chest is out his ears perked fine
A long perfect swoosh
in rhythm from his behind.
A lazy bent leg, a relaxed and cool stance
So different from his electric dance.
He is beautiful, kind and strong
He will walk the walk and walk in hand
Willingly allow you to harness his head
Willingly desire for the touch of your hand.
He's thankful for your ride and brush
He knows your love and knows your cuss
But do not forget for one moment in time
First and foremost he is a stallion of fine line.

--Diva

ROSE

She held the soft rose,

That my lover gave.

Cupped in her hands,

Across her young face.



The rose as white,

As her tender skin.

With her nose impaled,

To the fragrant sin.



Back and forth, around her eyes.

So gentle with petals,

Ever precious she tries,

To hold them.
 
--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" by Lulu Publishing

SOFTLY

So softly you look at me


Deep into my soul


You hold me fast


Don’t think you can let go


Don’t step away or back


Hold me closer


See my eyes smolder


Flames of love


Reach for you


Stretch above


To make you warm


But never harm


Your soul.
 
--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" by Lulu Publishing

BLOSSOMS

She has wanted flowers in her hair

Since she was small

Though boys didn’t care.

The only men in her life

When she was small

And life was bright

Was her daddy who held her

Soft and warm

And God above who kept her strong.



And all through the years

She wore flowers in her hair

From boys she met

From places far and near

And pressed them in a book

Kept them close to her heart

So that when they died

They never fell apart.



She was a flower girl in a wedding once

And went to senior prom

Where she danced and danced

And her daddy bought her flowers

The day she made the team

And she picked the perfect ones

For her bouquet in the spring

She pressed each one

From when her son was born

Even kept the ones from friends

When she broke her arm.



The day came when the flowers

In her hair

Fell onto her father in a grave so bare.

Save one for her book, pressed so neat

To keep close to her heart not under her feet.



But her favorite blooms, even now,

Come from God too.

They aren’t picked or wrapped

But are always new…

Occasionally she’ll press them for memories sake

But wears one in her hair

Each day.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Child" Lulu Publishing

MISSING

She’ll never find a man

To love her as she needs

There isn’t one, could understand,

Her affections as she breathes.

A man could never reach her

He’ll miss her beauty

And grace she beholds.

Deep within her being it lives.

This part of her soul

He’ll never know.

No, she’ll never find a man

To fulfill her.

One who could fill her needs.

Her mother always held her.

And told her

Be free, forever free.

A man won’t hold her

Like her mama did.

It will never be enough

But she’ll remember

What her mama said

And yearn for her gentle touch

The touch all men have lost.
 
--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Child" Lulu Publishing

WARM DISTANCE

From far away her echoed voice

Seeps deeply into my mind.

Aloft the wind

Tendrils

She sweetly sings

To sunset and higher wings

To me.

-Diva
as published in " A Diva's Child " Lulu Publishing

FADING

She feels

her body

coming

Then come

into its own.

As quickly

it subsides

she feels

moving

her passion.

--Diva

LONG STORY

Such a long story, I'll tell from under my hat
In the shade of full vineyards...where shall I start?
I'll share that I loved, that I cheated and I lied.
Decades....a bullet train of regret I ride.

It snowed and rained, many days, many nights.
Floods of change invaded, my dark and the light
Thoughts in my mind, just a little askew.
Numbers and memories don't add up, I reviewed.

Chapters of my life. My time broken down
into links of chains that keep me bound.
To this earth, to this heaven and the hell
I'm falling, it's dark, down this reflecting deep well.

--Diva

ORANGE BLOSSOMS II

Would orange blossoms in my hair
bring you back to me?

A kiss so soft, you'd not dare
return it out of greed.

If my skin were drenched
in bliss of vanilla

Could you still resist
Or would you then...

past all pretense
Sweep me off my feet?

Deep as diamonds of midnight
Sky you would fall into me

If only I were something more
Behold....I am me.

--Diva (as published in "A Diva Speaks" Lulu Publishing)

ORANGE BLOSSOMS

Would orange blossoms in my hair
bring you back to me?

Or a home donned with so fine
of scents to fill your every need?

Whispers of my love for you.
Break these walls alone.

Tears of patience overcome
My will to be so strong.

Were I to be an angel
Would I take you in my wings?

Lain upon my breast
You could rest and love me eternally.

--Diva

IRREPLACEABLE

You are irreplaceable
as laughter
which you bring to me

and you are thee

You spread yourself
over my soul
I call it joy

I know you
to be yours
to feel the warmth
of a tear

brought to life
by a spirits kiss
and not hatred or fear

Never shall I find another
so with me
you must stay

For God knows
I cannot live
Without your bliss

Not one minute
Not one day.

--Diva

END

My life has rounded out

To one painful instance

After another

Each encounter bringing

Me further

Around the bend

It is like a ride

With unknown destination

Being so far off

There is no hope

And though I know

Death exists

I see no end.

--Diva

SHADOW

I've tried to maintain a shadow.
keeping something close to me
Within reach to hold for comfort
Within sight to feel and need.

I learned the sun moves quickly
Changing my shadows place
And if I'm not carefully tending
With the sun, my shadow fades.

Then I am left here....staring
Alone at the world so dark.
Wishing the sun would rise on me
So we wouldn't be apart.

--Diva

*Photo by ShaiLynn Draper*

Unfinished

I have such clarity
God continues to harp the same tune to my ears,
Upon my soul, against my head.
Amy...he sings, why won't you hear?
Amy...he speaks, why aren't you there?
Amy...he screams I no longer can help.
Amy...he whispers you're all but dead.

But Lord you must know I could not see
My Lord, nothing was clear
I searched and I reached, out

to nothingness

black with shades of gray.
I grasped and clawed so familiar to me
No forgiveness was found
No love to be.

The father shows me, it's clear where I stand
How I weigh
It's daily, unmistaken pain I bear
It is not a wish, a request I make
It seeps into my cells, chokes my soul uninvited
It makes home, a bed to lay.

Then the universe speaks, it booms
Echoes loud and clear
God gathers his strength, his passion and spear
Why my child do you not understand?
You were given no tools, no hope
nor born with peace.
You're not given the answers to this riddle of life
can't you learn
simple paradoxes, man.

I see my peers, the fellow mankind.
Some lost forever.  Changed.
Some peaced and those pained.
Reveled in light and moments
How is their destiny different from mine?
We feel the same flames
hear the same dogs
and now I am sure I hear voices they don't.

--Diva

DYING FATHER

My father's dying and I do not believe
we did our best, him and me.
I guess I figured if I didn't call
It would be the last time
we spoke at all.
But it isn't right to avoid the man, my father.
I have this choice I can live like
the days are mine
Or remember he hasn't left much time.
And no, he didn't do his best
He's just a man and now needs to rest.
He made our days so hard and long
He made us wait, he made us mourn.
So I find it hard to find in my heart
The peace to give before he parts.
I doubt myself and my regrets.
That there are none at all in what is left.
What kind of person could I be
To turn my heart and simply leave?
Well what more could I discern
I'm my fathers daughter
It's what I learned.

--Diva

HEAL

My heart must heal

Prepare for new

Undo the scars

Made by you

This tortured soul

Needs to be free

My endless pain

Must cease.

-- Diva

YOU WIN

You drive me through planes
unknown and unseen
Maneuver through pleasure
and ecstacy

Street signs are blurred
Not to be deterred
from our destination
our love.

Every touch shifts down
humming and low
no brakes needed
Just floor it, let's go.

Go into my realm
drive my reality insane
Drive past my heart
again and again.

You win.

--Diva

My fathers 46' Mercury

FATHER

Father....shallow hopes with empty shells
eventually slick from grainy hells
I amazed you can wash away
the pain, the hate
with forceful waves

Rather, left in the wet, under the sun
Open to nature to drown and burn
Yes, he abandoned his ship and crew
to blindly travel his lone canoe.

While he drunkedly navigates his storms alone
We blanket our life with shallow hope
A place to begin and grow.

--Diva

EACH BREATH

Each breath creates
possibilities

Blooming in the
abyss of night

I count each beat
My heart utters

Holding back
morning light

I guess at what
your eyes may say

And know it's right
where your hand may lay

Upon me
Along me
Inside.

--Diva

CLEANED

Amidst desolate hearts
Glimmers of light were found
Gleaming between the dark webs
That have dampened our passions
they shone.

As light on crystal waters
Dance and lively flow
The light created love
Little did we know
The empty spaces left
When webs removed
and clean.

The void of darkness recovered
In heart when the light
Found its way home.
The other abandoned
Once they were apart
Left for cobwebs to grow.

--Diva

SPIDERS

Silvery strands by moonlight
An art piece, simple, wild and true
His home no illusion or threatened
by my existence nor by you.
He chose my home to share
an honor I bear so I'll let him rest
mend his work and feed
as we all do.

He is hidden this chill morning.
For the daylight hours, he packed away.
To replace him the prey and singers fly
Stopping by their nests along the way.
I offer my trees. my porch, and stones
Again honored they chose this for home.
For their children to birth, to hatch
At seasons will
Such beauty, simple intracacies of life
God amazes me still.

The pines lay out before me
My pup and child in hand
No place to be, only to see
and hear whispers of earths land
Quakies speak, speak to me in the breeze
I will listen to your dance in
graceful ease.
And watch the clouds gather
like shoring sand.

Life shimmers on wing and leaf and rock
Initial sparkles of this earthly lot.
Every color of the rainbow shows
in autumn, spring, summer,and in winters snow.
How amazed and grateful I am to see
All that God has given me.

--Diva

ULTIMATE GIVE

Death grappled at my feet
begged and chatted
sweet nothings to me
I breathed in the feeling
Desperately wanted the meaning
It patiently cried to me
in supplication

I felt its sympathy

Exhaled its need.
The need to be a part of this.
I please, I dote, extreme to smote
for the cause, to fulfill
the desire, the will

Death wants to be complete.

The only way to close
that circle, my wheel
Is to sacrifice myself
and give, to give, in wholeness give
What has been dark secretley planned
designed, permanently mine.
Death.

--Diva

WISH

I heard her say

I saw the most beautiful woman today

Wish I were there.

--Diva

FAMILY

For all my family

That's come and gone

For all the rights

and all the wrongs

Together we're made

Our life complete

All connected by

The thread of life

Protected by angels wings.

--Diva

GLOW

Summer sun awaits me
Naked skin exposed
Inviting the universe
To touch me
With my eyes closed
To the brightened sky
I lie and glow.

--Diva

WARM

Warmth lapping across my face
Not furnace hot, now late August
The cool water, my limbs embrace
Breezes blowing the leaves and brush

I have no memory of this peace
No constant highway fills my mind
I cannot recall this mental ease
Quiet has not been a friend of mine

This day of Indian summer skies
Unfamiliar relaxed my body is
No hidden agendas, half truths or lies
Simplicity still remains a twist

Among my quickened patter heart
Laid upon the bare shelf in my brain
Tucked away, gathering dusty art
Is bliss, by no other name.

--Diva

ABSENT AMAZEMENT

Anticipating life's maddening existence
to ease up, be kind to my soul.
As sure as I see the sun rise each day
No escape relinquishes itself to know.
Absent peace, how I dream of a tempered heart
among many illusions to me.
My body, full of imperfections
This mind twisted and arrayed.
Seldom do I find much peace at night.
In my chosen bed of thorns
upon which I lay.
Not even those simple miracles
blue skies, a child's curious ways,
how lightning shatters a stormy blaze,
and the beating of a broken heart
much is lost on me, I'm not amazed.

--Diva

CHAINS

Can you provide what I need?
Possess the will to be on your knees?
A good girl in chains, prepared to be slain
Be mine with no mercy tonight.

I'll tie you up to the cross.
All your beggings of me are lost.
I will tighten the grip, slowly, so slowly strip.
I'll let you nibble then I'll bite soft flesh.

As I stroke you to the brink
I'm sure you will think...I am evil.
But that all goes away, when you see light of day
Just remember me in leather so tight.

While you sit at your desk
Keep your memory pressed
To the heels that dug into your skin.
Overflow of ecstasy you're in
As I suck you with your hands tied above your head.

Don't forget the true bliss
Of that soft gentle kiss
You received while I whipped your bare ass.

I was yours, you were mine
For that moment in time.
and again, I will be
when you...on your knees
Call me master.

--Diva

TIED INHIBITIONS

I live on the apron strings
of God

With autumn maple
syrup in my hair

Spring rain clasped
to my ankles

And summer sun
is my affair.

--Diva

VENOM

No one should love me
I'll venom them away
To save me from their cruelty
That eventually they lay

Then I won't have to live
Under hurt and pain
I can try to salvage
That which keeps me sane

Eventually they tell me
I don't need you no more
I could never love you
I don't want a whore

They leave me tired and bloody
From the battle in my heart
A void the size of oceans
Keeping me apart

With no guilt...the bitches
Go and lead their merry lives
God sent me down to Earth
and mock the normal wife

--Diva

I SEE

Do you think God touches me
When I sleep, when I'm alone.
Would he whisper to me
and brush my hair back
Away from my eyes, my cheek
So I could see better, truth
And I would feel him all around
Embracing me with what is real
Enveloping my soul
Then my heart would know
My eyes are closed and yet I see.

--Diva

HAND TO HOLD

Sometimes I can still feel
How you once loved me
I mourn and miss it
My heart empties

I was not to be your one
Or theirs, or his or hers.
Still where I turn on this plane
The hand I hold's my own.

I chose not to begin again
I know my soul's alone.

--Diva

ASHES

I'm afraid you never loved me.
Though handsome comfort
I have brought.
You have no passion for me.
There should dare to venture
Into this empty shell, my heart.
My flaming cords dwindled away.
From neglect and the cold.
God how I could have burned you once.
Singed you at the tips.
Before my temptress ways
Were dashed.
Ignored to ash my stony lips.
Time has past, I hibernate.
Still churning in my soul.
Without the passion and the touch
Never again will I be whole.

--Diva
as published in "When a True Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

HIDE

Do I hide my sanity?

Well behind my memories?

So well, I have forgotten both?


-- Diva
as published in "When A True Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

ONE

I'm broken
Can you not see
The severed pieces
of me
Can you not hear
me crack
and sear
Under the pretenses
within the fear
So as you turn
Your blinded eye
I delve through
the bottomless
lost and dark night
I'm drowning
can you not hear
my gasp and gurgled
wet interior
I'm reaching
Yet you do not see
Just past my dark
eternity
I'm lost and haggard
so bruised and alone
bleeding, still weeping
pulled down as a stone.
Dying, I'm dying
A faint ripple in time.
Can you not feel
me dying, my dried vine
Is it quiet?
Is that light?
Am I solitude?
Is there right?
Am I blinded
deaf and dumb?
Now alone
I am one.

--Diva

LONGFELLOW

Perfection bound in human form
eternity stamped papyrus
1841 relived in my hands
running my fingers through your masters

History, breath, your words elect
the taste of extraordinare
gold foil your namesake
in eternities formal flair

Ink and well, your dabbled script
Your genius, charm and depth
How I would have loved to shake your hand
to feel your heartful souls experience

Different century, changing times
I drift into your verse, your dreams
We seldom write such gorgeous lines.
I hold sacred what each word means.

To smell the history in each page
I step back time with etching vision
How could you know you held such grace
and touched our innocence.

--Diva

SUGAR SUGAR

Put me on your tongue darling
Crystal and so sweet
I'll follow you around the world
in the Sahara among palm trees
Your cool beverage, I'll complete.

Refine me, warm, sun up, sun down.
My red tomatoe pie.
Pack me into your silly spaces
I'll be your snap pea and harvest corn
I'll be your holiday so adorned.
Hot baby, I'll make you sigh.

I've met your diverse clan of friends.
Made love to your shy vanilla bean.
And sinful are my interludes with cocoa
your old obscene.

Please, honey, don't shut me out.
Don't substitute my worth.
I come from overseas to you.
From homes of mighty girth.

You know you want my soda pop.
You know you love my tea.
It just would never be right
Without you sweetheart.....you need me.

I'll powder you and dust your dreams.
Your secret's safe, cubed and raw with me.
Just promise you'll find a place
in that diet,
your sugar loves thee.

--Diva

AS I AM

Take me as I am
Faults and guts
scars
- the lot.

Embrace the me
you'll love
to be
--all mine.

My pedestal needn't
be very high
and only seen
by you.

The passion, however..
deep as can be
and envied by all
..shared by none.

Take me darlin'
as I am.
I've taken you in
..my brand.

--Diva

EMPTY

So here I sit in this empty room
As you sit in yours.
How did we get here
This place in time?
What about all we ignored.

Today how is your heart?
Aching badly is mine.

And my mind is bewildered.
All confused with these walls.
They know this isn’t our home.
Searching for the comfort,
Avoiding the pleading my heart calls,
I am numb.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

INNER CHILD

The inner child
I’ve never known
The child ignored
And silenced to stone

The hope and possibilities
My inner child had
Were never fed to bloom
Not acknowledged good or bad

So the tougher I got
And stronger I seemed
My outer child stood tall and alone
Some think I even grew mean

But deep within my aching soul
My child wept and shook in pain
I went as far as begging for love
Which seems all done in vain

--Diva
As published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

THAT PART OF ME

I understand part of me
Like glass in sand
Under my feet.
The painful glitches
dug in my soul
ruts in the muddy unknown.
Those parts not oiled
Not working right.
Those parts worn ragged
Some parts not light.

I want them extracted
torn from me.
I wish them weeded
To never seed.
I need the wind to pull them away
cast them into the darkness
Where I won't stray.

Alien, learned,
not of my heart
Claustrophobic
always trying to run.
Intolerant of this
Raging mark.

No longer let it grow
or thrive
No further keeping it alive
This part of me
I know and despise
This death I pray
to leave me good.
This Annihilation
A new part of me shall rise.

--Diva

WHEN WE'RE OLD

The lamp switch holds my fingertips.
My kiss reaches your brow.
Carefully I pull your book and lay it
on the ground.

Seems the tenderest motions
I've ever processed in my life.
Know my hand and heart will follow
These steps, till we die.

When you are 80 my love,
I'll go to make my tea
Back in bed I'll reach for your book
and hope you reach for me.

--Diva

TEARS

Tears from such tender eyes.
My heart aches with each moist lash she holds.
And for every salty drop
That glides
upon her face
I choke
on tears of my own.
Holding those back to save us
So we don't drown.

--Diva

8.15.97

She is the sky in the morning.
In all my comings and goings.
She is my heartbeat and my breath.
There when I have nothing left.
She is every color I can feel
And the shade of roses that I smell.
She is music and dancing,
Simple and fancy, to me.
She is a warm summer night.
White doves in flight.
Hard candy and honey
and boy is she funny.
My ins, my outs,
My love, my life.
Michelle, My wife.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

NOT HER

I have been weighed and measured
and been found wanting every time
I know I don't own your heart
Your eyes aren't even mine.
So how is it I'm punished
for a loss I never took
How should I feel
With a love not real
Eternally second best.
God I'm lonely and only wish
to feel important, to feel bliss.
Meanwhile you are biding time
Waiting for your day
to be back in her arms
For decades alone I lay
I'm just your waste of time
To fill in long days
Until you're back in line
With your one, soul mate.

--Diva

EYES

Where did you get the
Sapphires in your eyes
Made by a temptress
Designed to anchor lies
The same who etched
this heart from stone
and built this room
for me alone.

--Diva

OLD WOMAN

Who wants this old woman, seasoned and torn?
In her mid thirties, not much to adorn.
With heavy dark eyes that see all in your heart
Her whispers mean more than your fine hanging art?
She's been more places than those with their jets.
She's loved more deeply than I'd dare to bet.
And she blends into the wall as if not even here.
And the fire of her anger will melt you in fear.
This old beaten woman with eyes of a saint
Will lead you through life with her elegant gait.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Child" (Lulu Publishing)

SET SAIL

To bear this soul
alone
has been my quest.
What I have done
a purpose
now
breeds light and air
lacks direction
dare I steer?
This ship that's rampant
on a motherly sea
the crew abandoned
left only me
starved for days
There has been no land
to rest my sails
I've been misguided
directly to hell
and now the waters
against the grain
have brought no mercy
nor has the rain

I sail and sail
through night and day
well worth the fight
I found my way
My compass hidden
worn and old
deep in my pocket
deep in my soul.
An oasis awaited
my return
your healing hands
to tend my burns
And eyes I know
from long ago
From the heavens
from before.
Before our journeys
in high tide
Made it back
for our life.

--Diva

I WAS A STRANGER

I was a stranger today
In rose colored skies
and vanilla wind.

I stood alone,
questioned life
I looked and crept deep within.

A Stranger.

The geese flew low
Wingtips loft
upon the wind...
that made me lost.

They call this sky
their humble home.
I call it...infinity
......to alone.

My feet
yet grounded to this field.
A field of lost hope
and daffodil.

Fed by the sun
and wind and rain.
That don't exist
in this strangers mind.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

LOST TIME

In the Lillie's
In the fields

where I let my heart run
free of will.

I lost my soul
I lost my mind
The sun passed quickly
I lost time.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

YOUR OWN

The wind must bring your thoughts to me.
For they are there when you can't be.
Each moment entangled by your name.
Each sigh reflects your love and pain.
Your lips touch me...indiscreet.
Your hands invade my secrets, sweet.
I breathe your breath and cry your tears.
I see your eyes and feel your fears.
And I want to use this moment in time.
This second, these hours, to make you mine.
So when all is quiet and you are alone,
You think of me and make me your own.

--Diva

FRIENDSHIP

Our friends move on, but not away.
Our loves grow strong, aged and wise.
Our seasoned hearts, increased in size.
Traveling along the road of life.

Love is the one constant truth.
All we receive, steal and lose.
Few mesh with fibers of our being.
"Those" we carry endlessly.

We cry to them and always know
That when we laugh, that's where we'll go.
To the souls of those we've come to love.
The hearts of those, whose words we trust.

Blessed are we who've found and kept.
A diamond in this Earths big nest.
A hand to hold, so simple yet,
It holds our hearts and respect.

--Diva

WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED

Who would have guessed
it's been years for us?
An absence oftentimes ignored.
Knowing we missed, felt the void.
Taboo...the words.
Until they were spoken,
Until they were heard.

We picked up the dance.
Awkwardly shuffled our feet.
Through the past, into now
Our victories, our defeats.
Our ears bloomed open to hear
our memory a sponge, an abyss.
Seems eternities we shared
and eternities we missed.

I don't see the harm
though we may talk in our sleep
of the days we miss, time that we keep.
God you sparkle, how you shine
appearing to light my path, my life
though I cannot call you mine.

--Diva

NEVER FORGOTTEN

I will never forget you.
God stamped you in my life.
Deeply embossed in gold.
Emblazoned through my journey.
Leaving tracks where you go.

A history patterned across my heart.
Weaving and threading through time.
Each beat in sync with your step.
Each breath reflecting mine.

My mind gave no directions, nor did yours.
The worse for it we blindly went.
Bumping walls and locking doors.
At crossroads often, deciding...
Treasured map or off to hell.

Still traveling, you tattoo my life.
Stopping for rest and thirst.
Onward side by side, through day and night.
Together we build our globe.
We map our world.

--Diva

STILL FORGIVEN

Ultimate forgiveness
Not an ounce
of nonchalance
no sacrifice.
Genuine selfless act
Somehow you ored
into an altruistic mine
of peace.
Wealthy forgiveness
In impossible terms
You, astoundingly found.

Beaten flesh &
battered tears
Still you forgive
All of those years.
The bruises fade
broken bones mend
scars remain
still forgiven.

--Diva

AN ANGELS HEART

I find it hard to trust you.
I find it hard to see your heart.
And every day that passes.
Your kisses rip me apart.
I sink into your eyes. I shiver at your voice.
Don’t you know my heart of stone, needs to have a choice.

So broken down and beaten. An angel’s heart may lay.
I die another morning as the world bleeds another day.

I’m sure my life is written
in a script of tears.
Before I ever got here,
before I lived my years.
So scared that I am to love.
I’ve easily locked away
the chance to feel. It’s no longer real.
I only take what I can take.
So your eyes may take me in.
Your voice wraps around my mind.
As I say I love you dear, the loneliness is mine.

So broken down and beaten. An angel’s heart may lay.
I die another morning as the world bleeds another day.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

SIENNA WALTZ

If I could dance with you forever
Holding your figure
To my breast.
Feeling your breath
Against me.
I know then,
To be enraptured by you,
My joy could be no less.

We could dance,
Under the azure sky.
In the desert wind.
With stars above your
Golden head.
God’s true beauty,
Held in my hands.

Our naked souls in sandaled feet.
Finding rhythm,
To express our being.
Each step a word,
Written in sienna sand.
And each sigh,
An emotion,
Between two angels
Borrowing God’s dance floor land.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

MORNING

Sunday
I woke up
in love
and loved.

My heart rose
with the sun
with my breath.

My spirit annointed
a peaceful soul
to my chagrin
I know.

When was the sky
so blue? Ahhh....
It wasn't
before you.

Expanse above me
was a place to be seen.
Now expanse surrounds
me.
Limitless, infinite,
blessing.

--Diva

ALL WAS WELL

What did I hear
from this inner voice
Which speaks to me
in tongues of you.
Soft whispers within
my head.
Swirling about inescapable.
Laid to my bed.
Around you.

I must not have heard
this inner voice
Since your pounding heart
flooded my ears
reddened my face
block the world
from me.

Then from the shadows
of my mind
I hear the softest inner voice
Do you feel safe?
Do you feel at all?
Her in this space
Do you keep up the wall?

I strain in silence
to understand
my inner voice in soft command
Do you feel trusted
and adored?
Have you felt any of this before?

Then quiet...my mind became
Calm - my emotions lain.
No answer was needed.
Rhetoric I knew.
All was well, here with you.

--Diva

LASHINGS

She passed through my life when she needed. Took over my heart, which she seeded,

………………….with love.

My tongue lashed out as she walked away, to sting her and burn her, wrap around her, make her stay.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

GASP

You stopped my breath
I’m still searching for.
With your voice and laughter
In my thoughts I hear.
Imagine they are intertwined,
Relentlessly giving to each other
What they couldn’t find,
Until now.

--Diva
as published in " A Diva's Forte " (Lulu Publishing)

A LEAF

A leaf fell from the tree at dawn
The one in my front yard.
I’m guessing it was exhausted
Months of hanging to it’s branch
Clinging to life, up so far.
Treading rain at times felt good,
Winds that raped it’s friends.
That leaf viewed habits of nature,
Blossoms and flowers through spring,
In it’s youth, fresh and small.
Feeling autumn come to make an end.
Had it been a good long year?
Enough that now a release would bring a fall.
To end a trees fullness and life
End a season of color in the world.
I watched it descend in surrender
No wind forced it’s end.
This huge red leaf just let go and fell down
I was sure this was the final stage.
For it had survived all it need.
A year and cycle for a leaf.

Then a child, small and fragile,
Walked across my front lawn
I do not know if she saw this leaf fall
But she knelt down with timid hands
And grasped that same one.
In her palm, that leaf sat still.
She gazed at it with perfection.
And I saw that in her few years of discovery
She had seen few things as beautiful.
Cupped in the hollow of her hands,
The leaf was carried to a book.
The first bible she had ever owned.
Placed in pink thin paper,
She pressed this leaf
Somewhere in the pages of John.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

NEVER MINE

You were never mine.
Though I dreamed
Through your goodbyes
The veils of change
Convinced me
You were mine.

Irrational, ever slow.
My intentions
Crept to know
How you belonged
that I'm alone.
Slowly irrational.

Are those tears
Each meant for me
Don't waste them
love, I'm not to keep
You were never mine.

--Diva

MY EYES

Do you see my eyes?

My adoration...

My truth.

Do you look into my soul?

For my love...

But find the ruins?

Do you climb past theses mounds?

To meet me.

On higher ground.

This is where I wait

For you.

Patiently wait...

To look into your eyes.

Speak volumes

In silent dances

Until we meet

Our eyes.

And climax.

--Diva

IS & ISN'T

Like smoke, it eludes me
mysterious, absent
ever changing and fluid
love is and it isn't.

Deep breathes I inhale
to touch, own
such peril
love is and isn't for sale.

Like a fool I wait
matches to strike
create sulphurous air
but it is and it isn't hate.

--Diva

I FORGOT

I forgot who I am
I don’t know for how long.
But I remember now.
I cannot bury my strength
My poverty, or my pride.
Although I tend to keep
My shame and regrets inside.
I shaln’t deny I’m beautiful
But my intolerance may outweigh,
The gifts that God has given
Me along the way.
I believe as people
Our greatest gifts we possess
Are forgiveness and honesty.
I hadn’t forgotten this.
The eyes they hold the soul.
At times, mine speaks to me.
But listen closely
for your voice cannot speak
The silence in your dreams.

I hadn’t forgot to dream
Although they were dismissed.
And in remembering how to laugh,
The pain it wasn’t missed.
I forgot myself. My suspicions,
I let them slide. They went with my
Coldness and walls behind which I’d hide.
In forgetting who I am
I sure found many things.
I found that I can care
And even with my iron heart
I was given wings.

Being a mother never left me
And what did I think of
All those nights?
When I no longer had the lust for life
Nor did I want to die.
But now that I remember,
Precisely who I am.
I wish to also not forget,
Precisely who I found.

-Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

A CHILD

As a child
I lay upon the earth
With my eyes stretched to the sky.
With child filled tendencies
Such forms are possessed
Become mine
And my dreams
They are constructed in that sky.

Being a child
I sprawled out in the grass.
Squinting upon a tiny town.
I scrutinized the more of the world
The dew on plants
And soil within life.
Little miracles.
Out of reach from me then
But not from the world to harm.

I was a child
Which child should not be
Protected?
The beauty around
Was all I should see?
And the sky with the clouds and
Grass with the dew
And plant and miracles was what
I should see.

A woman I am
Now I look to the sky
I also see depth to the moon.
I dream into futures and worlds far away
As a woman,
I see green, I feel cold mist of morn.
I touch creatures and make miracles of life.
But now as a woman I can also see
Unprotected actions, fear…
More.
And the world is torn.

--Diva
as published in "A Divas Child" (Lulu Publishing)

EPITAPH

My life entangles another heart
For brief moments
Mere seconds in time.
By my years.
I don’t want to be a fleeting glance
Of fountain grass
Swaying in the wind
A memory in black and white
Of a day gone by
Of carousels
I served so well and complete
The need of me erases away
With powdered chalk on my outline
My epitaph will say
“So many lives she loved and stole
The hearts mended and tempers calmed
She took for herself not a bit of selfish love
home.”
--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Child" (Lulu Publishing)

PROMISE

I heard your promise in your eyes
long before you spoke to me.
I knew your love would have to fly
out in the world with my tears so free.
But did you have to damn my soul
ruining me for any other love.
Give me a glimpse of the fantasy.
Fulfill my heart, then leave……just leave.

Please tell me you can love me, in the broken sunlight of lonely morning. As I lay and dream your name, come back to me and love again. You promised. Your eyes promised me.

You led my heart to believe.
True love was mine, all mine to keep.
I breathed your breath and danced your step. This world in my hands, you on your knee. God, I want to be, I want to be – yours.

Please tell me you can love me, in the broken sunlight of lonely morning. As I lay and dream your name, come back to me and love again. You promised. Your eyes promised me.

Yes, you can love me,
between your ego and your charm.
I expect you to be the love,
you vowed once in my arms.
After coffee, after noon, can you still feel my love for you?
It didn’t die when you grew wings.
I waited for you to bring my mended heart back to me.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu Publishing)

BEFORE

When you were children
It was my life
to be enveloped with you
Our ties were strong
and tightly bound.
No mothers love as true.

Betrayal severed
untied the knot
We knit for years
The time we bought
With a thousand tears
ago.

--Diva
as published in "A Diva Speaks" (Lulu Publishing)

REALITY

Have I created your reality
Full of navy skies and
turquoise seas?

Glitter strewn beaches
graced perpetuity

Whatever your reality
May be...
Include in it,
Me.

-Diva

TUMBLING

Tumbled into cockelshells
Stumbling down the stairs to hell.
Snowy white caps of heavenly bliss.
Melting so quickly, I slip, I slip.
Not a chance to get my footing
My shell protects me
From the mysteries.
Secrets of light, secrets of dark
Which I no longer can tell apart.
I see the beauty fade away.
All I took for granted
Not welcome to stay
On God's Earth.

-- Diva

SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN

Someone laughed,
Heard across the sky
The stars shook
Then wept
The universes eye.
Galaxies echoed
They laughed and laughed
Within earshot of God
Who laughed back.

--Diva
As published in "A Divas Child" (Lulu Publishing)

IS IT I?

Is it I who lays here in this home I create?
Is it I who structures
these children’s lives of debate?
Am I who reads Gods words each night?
I who respects and fears his might?

Is it I who sees the pink past the clouds?
And wonder
if chariots truly ride among stars?
Is it I, that searches for the meaning of life?
Who wonders if she’ll be a suitable wife?

Is it I that stares into the mirror?
Deeper at the eyes, that question if I’m here?
Who am I that collects
earthly trinkets and sorts?
And hangs them on her walls
Like a fine fitting coat.

Ahhh --- am I the one
who feels the pleasure of a kiss
And unmentionables, the traces of feathers?
Is it I who upholds the choice we all have
To be free and to love and decline the bad?

Is it I who could wander aimlessly lost
In open fields, in the dark, judging the cost?
Looking for answers and searching the souls
Then turning back finally to say,
I don’t know.

If not I, then who, was created for this.
If not I, who’d make choices and laugh while they live?

Could be I who wanders
the flower lain fields.
Pretending to be lost,
soaking in all that heals.
I may be the one, God speaks to in dreams,
Could be……….”I” could be
Anything, everything.

If not I, then who would breathe in the air,
Not just to breathe, but experience it clear.
Who else will ask questions and learn
every day
Or thank God for poorness
and reap what it pays.

If I could take lead of the chariots in skies,
And believe in my spirit, to not watch it die.
Then I’m sure it could be me, as well as you.
Could feel light and love
And be truth.

--Diva
from "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu publishing)

FAITHLESS

I have lost my way
My God used to be a breath,
A tear away,
Now the ocean falling
From my eyes
Would not be enough
For me to reach him.

--Diva
from "A Diva's Forte" (Lulu publishing)

HIDDEN

Some may say I've lost my mind
but little do they know
how simple and wise am I
I hid it in my soul.

--Diva

VOID

Having something ripped
from me.

Against my will.

Gives my black heart
a whole new view.

A new fascade
I won't reveal.

I believed
I was norm to this.

All gone from me
An empty wish.

Not one thing sacred.
Nor is it safe.

In my keep
it's sure to break.

--Diva

HARD LANDING

You let me go.
Was there no fight
Left in you?

Self absorbed, no will
To call
Out to me
One word?
Stay.
Please.
Wait.

Not of childish games
Or extended pain.
Just a stitch of passion.
Want.
Desire.
Me.

Broken and aimless
I needed a room
To fall into - to land.
Your home.
Your heart.
Your hand.

--Diva

Child

You are always a part of me
You come from my body, my hopes
And my soul
Reaching up and out toward the world
Toward all you do not know

Enfeeble minds
Collective thoughts
Plan for success
With forget me knots
A day is set aside for you
To leap in the world
With both feet grounded
Upon departure I’ll hold in my hand
The apron strings
That kept you safe on land
As they stretch and fray
I know a shiny blade
Must cut them free
Stronger still are my
Strings of will
Attached to my heart –
And strong
They play our song
Tilted mom
Sing